My special place

i glad your hubbys driving and supporting you that way too @Snowiei hope it goes ok for you

any plans until this arvo?

morning @Sans911 are you ok?

No plans @outlander, just watching some tv.

I am guessing things are a bit tough at the moment for you sweetie. Hope you are ok sis

me too @Snowie watching greys anatomy atm and soon will need to go do some grocery shopping. other than that no plans.

yeh abit rough atm sis, cant really find the words. im liking helping others atm rather than talking about myself just still limited to a few close threads. im worried about a few members here including our sis.im finding the oils are actually helping quite alot with sleep finally something that is helping besides medications. im still going to bed really late but im sleeping the rest of the night usually 5 or 6 hrs and a few nights in a row now. i want to try some other oils out too.

@outlanderI have seen you have been helping lots of other lately. Sometimes it is a good distraction but please look after yourself too. Glad you are getting a bit more sleep. The olis seem like they are helping.

Will be back on later after pdoc appt.

thanks sis @Snowie i forget that sometimes

i hope the appt goes well for you

@Snowie Hi Snowie how has your day been going? I hope you have been okish. It is wonderful that you are back. It has been raining and cooling down here for the past 3 days which is fantastic. Am loving bringing out my autimn clothing at least one day before it heats up again.

@Snowie looking forward when you are ready of course about hearing how it all went today. What a wonderful hubby you have :). Well, I feel I am a walking example of what happens when you have mi. There seems to be two choices for those with mi either you stay skinny and go mad and get yourself into all kinds of trouble like that young woman who got shot by the police in Sydney the other day because she had schizophrenia but was not being treated. She was carrying around a implement and they shot her de*d. Lovely ... It is either that or you get fat and get depressed. It is the pits and I know I rabbit on and on about it but it is really getting me down. I am so depressed about it. I am wearing big baggy clothing because I am hating what I am seeing I just hate everything about myself atm.

On a bright note ....ummmm it is raining ...

I am not going to tag anyone and am hesitant to write this because so many others are suffering , however I needed to get it out, so I do not expect any replies.

Went and saw the pdoc today after our phone call yesterday. His solution was for me to use the helplines, gave me a different type of prn to be used in conjuction with what I am already using and to wait.

I am sorry but I hate fkn waiting. Trying to wait whilst I have flashbacks, dissociation, SHing more and more and SI is getting harder and harder to cope. I know he is the expert, but I don't think he has to wait like this before. His solution is to ring a helpline, go to the local ED or ring the crisis team who last time I rang they said they could do no more for me. Then told me to use all my different strategies I have to help, like I havent been using them already.

I am so close to pulling that plug, the saying enough is enough, to giving up on this whole damm thing. Then if I say anything, people pull the children saying. Do they realise that it gets to a point where even my kids are not enough to keep me breathing for another day.

So now I am meant to just meant till wait till I see him next Wednesday and if these new meds havent worked then they will look into something else. If I had my way, I wouldn't see tomorrow. I hate this cruel, mean, hurtful, waiting game.