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My special place

SnowieSenior Contributor15 Feb 2018, 9:51 am AEDT

My special place

Well yesterday certainly threw everything off track. But thanks to some very thoughtful and kind people I was able to get threw it and continue.

I cannot say a lot about what happened as I am sure you all understand but need this support in place.

Things WILL be ok, just a lot to work out.

Psych visit yesterday sorted out some of the things and more things will be happening early next week.

I am sorry if I put anyone through any despair, but unfortunately what happened yesterday morning had to be done.

Thank you all for your continued support.

@outlander@Sans911@Former-Member@Bubbles3@Bunniekins@Shaz51@CheerBear@Phoenix_Rising@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@Zoe7@Queenie@Former-Member

Brain still not functioning anyone so sorry if I missed anyone

for @Phoenix_Rising as I know how much you don't like love hearts!!!

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In response to: My special place

Unknown userMember13 May 2020, 10:17 am AEST

Re: My special place

Hello @Snowie , wishing I had some words that may offer you some ray of hope and sunshine. All I can do is send you my love and gentle hugs and hopes that today will be kind to you. 💖

In response to: Re: My special place

SnowieSenior Contributor13 May 2020, 7:21 pm AEST

Re: My special place

Thanks all, today has been okish. Saw H and the kids and the dog this afternoon so that was nice. Still haven't got a lot of words.

In response to: Re: My special place

Zoe7Senior Contributor13 May 2020, 7:22 pm AEST

Re: My special place

@Snowie 💛🧡💚💙💜

In response to: Re: My special place

outlanderSenior Contributor13 May 2020, 11:48 pm AEST

Re: My special place

@Snowie 💜💜💜

In response to: Re: My special place

SnowieSenior Contributor15 May 2020, 6:16 pm AEST

Re: My special place

I don't expect a reply, I just need to get it out.

Feeling very hopeless and helpless at the moment.

Saw the pdoc this afternoon and she doubts the tms treatment will be helpful in the long run.

Is going to talk to my normal pdoc and wants to put in a referral for ect.

I was afraid this would happen

That means coming back in here for 3-4 weeks.

Perhaps I am just treatment resistent

Perhaps I am just not meant to be

In response to: Re: My special place

outlanderSenior Contributor15 May 2020, 6:53 pm AEST

Re: My special place

sending you heaps of love and hugs @Snowie sitting with you through it all

In response to: Re: My special place

Sans911Senior Contributor15 May 2020, 7:00 pm AEST

Re: My special place

Oh sweetheart @Snowie - I just want to give you a big heart right now. I'm so hearing you and I understand those icky feelings you are having. I was concerned too the tms wasn't working. And I'm sorry it hasn't. But in no way are you not meant to be here.

What's happened to you is in no way your fault. You have been abused, mistreated and betrayed. By someone you expected that you could trust and protect you. By someone you once loved. That is huge. And your reaction to that has been extremely profound. Some it might effect less. That's neither good or bad. It just is. You didn't bring this on yourself, and you most certainly don't deserve it. You don't deserve this punishment, and I understand how hard it is for you to feel worthy.

You are doing you very best to cope, and to heal. I hope in time some form of treatment works for you, and that you can find some peace, love and kindness for yourself. 💜💜💜💜💜

In response to: Re: My special place

SnowieSenior Contributor15 May 2020, 7:06 pm AEST

Re: My special place

Thanks @Sans911 @outlander ❤

I was afraid it wasn't working too but don't think I wanted to admit it to myself. I guess I don't have to now since the pdoc thinks the same. After 3 lots of treatments I feel like I am back to where I started.

In response to: Re: My special place

Sans911Senior Contributor15 May 2020, 7:11 pm AEST

Re: My special place

But you haven't given up yet @Snowie, have you? You keep trying, despite every fibre in your body possibly telling you that it's not worth it and you're not worth it, you keep trying. And that's worth something.

In response to: Re: My special place

SnowieSenior Contributor15 May 2020, 7:17 pm AEST

Re: My special place

Tonight I feel like giving up @Sans911 Everything is telling me to throw in the towel. It is just hard to want to keep going sometimes. It hurts too much tonight.

But I know that feeling will pass, I just have to give myself time, I have to try if not for me but for the people around me.

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