My special place

Had my last individual session with DBT yesterday. Session was ok but no point really discussing anything. I am sad that I have lost this support but I have to resign myself to the fact that making money is more important then our mental health.

Saw my pdoc this morning. Told him some big news that I havent told him before. Was hard, uncomfortable and triggering. But everything seems to be triggering lately. Perhaps it wasn't the best time to tell him but when is ever a good time to tell someone about past trauma.

My sh and si is on the rise and I seem powerless to stop it. I have no control left.

Today is just another day that I realise how crappy it is dealing with all of this.

I’m so sorry that DBT ended way to early @Snowie. 🤬

From the outside looking in it is a big step to disclose the big stuff that hasn’t been discussed before. It’s an achievement that I know you can’t feel just now.

I understand that all your sh si urges would be full on at the moment. It’s totally understandable. Just wanting to let you know I hear you and send loads of hugs. 💜💜💜

Those days are really tough for anyone @Snowie but losing that support makes it even harder. You are right - there is no good time to disclose any trauma but the fact that you did must mean it has been playing on your mind and you felt comfortable enough to talk about it - that is actually a positive Hon - it takes great courage to talk about things and even greater courage to talk about things you haven't disclosed previously. It also leaves us with a lot of feelings that are hard to deal with so go easy on yourself today - I understand what a huge deal it was for you to talk about this today and how much it would be affecting you. Here listening and sitting with you

Thanks @Sans911 @Zoe7 @Teej

@Snowie 💕💜💕💜

Its hard @Zoe7

I have so many thoughts yet feel numb. I can't stop.

I know that place @Snowie It is debilitating. I used to think numb was a safer place though - doesn't stop the thoughts but stops us acting on them. It is when we start feeling everything that the pain is so intense that it becomes all encompassing. You helped me through some of those times Hon - so more than happy to do the same for you