My special place

You are not being needy Hon - you are seeking support which you so much deserve @Snowie

I know this is excruciating for you and you don't even know if they will work but there is a chance they will and it is so worth sticking it out for tht outcome. The next couple of days are going to be so hard for you - so lean on us here as much as you need Hon - if that is 24/7 then so be it - you will have the support because you need it and you are very much loved here my sweet Snowie. Are you able to do anything to help keep you occupied - anything that could hel the time go quicker? Take Izzy for a walk, cook something, watch BBT... I know how hard that all is though when you are feeling like this ...hang in there Hon and we'll be here with you

I've tried different things to distract myself. But then I think why bother if this is all that I am going to be. Just this F**ked up person with no future that is worth living.

You are feeling like this right now because of coming off one med and introducing another Hon - it won't always be like this but right now it really sucks - there is no getting around how much this sucks Hon but we are here with you and will help you get through this day.

If other disractions are not working then keep tlking here with us - because we not only are listening but also know how hard days like these are @Snowie

You are most definitely not fkd up @Snowie

What is fkd up is the trauma that happened to you, the hurt that you've been through. Nobody should go this shit. But you can get better: it's just going to take time, the right therapy and medication, lots of support, before you can put this behind you.

Your future is there, maybe changed from your experience, but you will learn to love yourself again, and look forward with hope.

Hugs sweetheart, you are so deserving of love, support, hope. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

@Zoe7 @Sans911 I know you both know how hard days are like this. Right now I can't see any point in continuing like this. Day in day out feeling like there is nothing left.

I'm trying to hang on, to see this through. It does suck big time.

I just don't know what to do anymore

This is super hard for you right now and I know how difficult it is to be feeling like you are - it feels like it is never going to get any better - yes been there @Snowie and know where you are sitting. The only thing that got me through was the support here on the forum and my fur babies - any small thing that helps you get through hold onto with both hands. It is incredibly tough to be feeling this way and not see any way out - and there is honestly not much we can say but we are here with you, for you and not letting do

I don't know what else to say @Zoe7 except thank you and @Sans911 for being here with me.

I know I should ring my pdoc and let him know but I don't want to go back in. It makes it too hard on the kids.

It so frustrating with your med changes, side effects and everything, and all this is unsettling, messing with your brain chemistry and then you are trying to get through everything as well.

I've been so many med changes, but my side effects have been minimal. I remember @Zoe7

had similar challenges with meds as you did. And only at the beginning of this year she was incredibly unwell physically and mentally. It took a long time for her to get to where she is now.

My journey to get to the point I'm at today has been close to 3 years. I've been on so many different meds I can't even remember all of them. The combination on am on now is only been in place for about 6months. And one of my ads was increased last week.

It's a tough journey, there's no denying that. But Zoe7 & I are getting better, so there's hope for you too. I understand that right now that's incredibly hard to see. And you know we have days still now of not believing it either. But hold on @Snowie

Remain open that you can heal, you can look forward to loving life again. But for now, just be. Just breathe. Just get through an hour at a time today. It's now 1pm where you are right? So let's make it to 2pm. Keep talking to us.

It may be hard on the kids @Snowie but not having their mum around at all would be so much harder - so if you need that extra support right now to help you with this med change thn maybe that is what you need. Maybe ringing your pdoc and seeing what he says first and go from there. Whatever you decide Hon we are here for you. We care about you very much