My special place

@rav3n The pain has eased. I was able to walk a bit more this morning and I was able to snooze this afternoon. My psychiatrist said to double the dose of one of my meds for 2 nights. Hoping this works and I sleep better which would probably ease my back, neck and headache. Will go to bedvfairly early.

Very much a pattern @rav3n

She'll say something, criticise me in some way, then apologise.

Even when I was young it was like this.

She still criticises me about my tattoos, weight, what I wear, how I look. I learnt a long time ago that regardless of what I do it wouldn't be good enough for her.

I'm reading a book called Lilac Girls. It's about 3 different ladies lives in WW2.

It's a good read but you have to concentrate as the chapters change from one person to another throughout the book.

that sounds really similar to how mum treats me at times too - one of the reasons i've held off on getting tattoos is because of her judgement. we expect our mums to be the bigger person and understand/change but unfortunately we end up having to be the bigger person instead 🙃 @Snowie i'm with you on how exhausting it is, sending you gentle hugs 💙

oo that sounds interesting, the different perspective ones are fun reads! but yes, extra concentration power!

@GezzaP hope you sleep well tonight! a lot of the time, sleep is key for healing!

i'm off soon, hope you both take care and have a lovely rest of your night 💙

I'm sorry you get treated like that too @rav3n

When she says something about my tattoos (I have quite a few) I just say 'my body, my choice'

It's not as if I just get one for no reason. Each tattoo I have has a meaning behind it.

My D has quite a few too, which I know mum hates but won't say anything to her.

I hope the rest of your night goes well

Getting ready for bed now @rav3n

I am so glad to hear your safety plan has been helping you @Snowie.

Can you tell me some things you love about hubby? I would really like to hear. 😍

Who are some people you feel you can turn to here?

How did your psychologist support you when she read what you had to share?

And that's okay - I am glad you're listening to what feels right for you to express. 💛

@AuntGlow my SP does help when I follow it. I just need to remember to use it when things go bad.

One of the things I love about hubby is he doesn't judge me. He also knows most of the time when I'm having a bad time, even if I try to hide it. I can hide it from others, but not so with him. Also with all my treatments, ECT, hospital stays, appointments he has stuck by my side. He could have easily just thrown in the towel and left, but he never did. He continues to be my rock and saved me multiple times from myself.

I feel comfortable with most people on here. I guess I have made more connections with some members and turn to them more than others.

My psych always wants me to be open with her. Sometimes I can, other times I find it really hard. Its not that I don't trust her, but sometimes I get scared at what she will do with the information. In the past she's rung/emailed my pdoc and wanted to ring hubby. She's also wanted to ring 000 before too. I know she has a duty of care, I understand that and that she has to contact people if I'm a danger to myself.

Evening @Snowie hope you’re not too bad today. I have a psychologist appt tomorrow first one. It is telehealth because he’s on the other side of the city. I guess I’ll find out if I like him. He is Spanish. I speak Spanish so if I can’t open up in English maybe it’ll be easier in Spanish.

My GP agreed to look into a mental health care plan for me so I’ll have to set up a face to face appt with her for next week if I can get in so I’m not paying full price for psych.
Busy week for me this week and next week I already have 3 appts.
Went for two walks today even though it hurts my back. Chiro says it is good to walk so I’ll persist.

My back will improve especially if I start sleeping better. Slept 7 hours last night and had a snooze this afternoon. Hoping I can stay up a bit later tonight so I don’t wake up too early like this morning.Psychiatrist said to double the dose of one med for 2 nights and read a boring book if I wake up in the night and can’t go back to sleep. Chose a political theory book that should do the trick.

What did you have for dinner? Take care @Snowie

I really hope your appointment with the psych goes well @GezzaP

Hopefully you can connect with them and at the same time practice your Spanish.

Psych's can be really expensive so a mental health care plan might help. Any money we can save is a good thing.

Well done for going for some walks today. That is great

Hopefully you can continue getting better sleep. It does make a difference.

I would stay awake if I read a political theory book. I love all things Political and reading different peoples opinions! I often watch you tube videos of discussions of political rivals.

I picked a theory book that I thought would be dull. But agreed it may not work. A novel would suck me in though. When I’m not hypomanic I go back to sleep easily when I wake up to go to the loo.

Yes hope GP can do mental health care plan, as psych is expensive.
How you doing?