My special place

Thanks for replying @AuntGlow I really appreciate it

After sitting there for a bit, I calmed down enough to at least drive home. Can't remember much of the drive, but at least I got home in one piece.

I like telehealth appointments because I don't have to drive home, but I fine face to face appointments help a lot more. We used to do all face to face and now she has changed hours, every second one is telehealth. I'm not really liking it. I find I can't express myself properly over a screen.

I had the dentist this morning so just got back before. I've got washing on and just had some prn. Hoping they will help.

Sometimes knowing the truth is hard but better in the long run. That way you don't get your hopes up high. Getting reminded can be difficult but I guess in the end truth prevails.

Guess most people need to learn this lesson, me included.

The truth will out @Snowie hang in there.

Probably more like reality. Just accept the fact @GezzaP

Anyway, don't worry

I hope your day is going ok

@Snowie I am better today as my back, neck and head don’t hurt for the first time this week. Still not sleeping and hypomanic. But dead tired can’t do anything even had to force myself to do exercises. Might have a snooze.

Of course @Snowie!

I am glad you got home safe... I wonder what it would be like to explore some gentle movement in those moments? Or somatic practices like a self-hug or rubbing your arms and legs? Maybe even some EFT tapping? It could create a little bit of safety to come back 'in' to the body?

I totally get that - being in person is somehow more embodied and regulating. What do you find hard about online exactly? (We might be able to find a way to make it more enjoyable for you!)

You're brave! I always hate going to the dentist... how are you feeling now? 💛

Visualisation, imagery, those types of things don't seem to help.

I find smelling different scents helps @AuntGlow Helps keep me in my body. I normally use taste too. Will sit there afterwards and have a cup of tea. Normally on the strong side.

I also have a fidget toy that is very prickly and when squeezed does hurt.

With online, I find it hard to connect. My mind often wonders off more and I have more trouble keeping grounded. We have spoken about these things. Lets just say my telehealth psych sessions and in person sessions are very different. In person actually feels like we accomplish something, on line just feels like damage control.

Truthfully I don't feel good and I don't really care. I did the right thing and rang, but made little difference.

I guess to make this recovery focused, yes I've been trying different things.

That's totally fair, I find them extremely hard too. @Snowie

Okay, that's really great awareness. What are your thoughts on carrying something like essential oils or mint gum around with you for when these moments come up? This is actually something that's recommended as part of a 'trauma coping toolkit'. I would love to hear if it works for you.

The fidget toy sounds super helpful for sensory support too.

I hear you. I wonder if you could explore movement throughout your session? Is this something your psychologist could help facilitate?

I get that... maybe you're allowed to feel all of this right now? 💛

I do carry some essential oils with me @AuntGlow and normally have mints too. I have a mixture of different oils in my bag and next to the bed. I don't really like mints so they do work in helping keep me grounded.

I have so many fidget toys. Keep them beside my bed, in the lounge room, in car, in bag. I find they do help.

When I see my psych in person, we often will walk around the block and talk about things. She often reminds me about walking. Even today I got dressed, put my runners on, but just couldn't make it out that door.

I know feeling like this is allowed and to go gentle with myself. We all feel this way at some stage and thats ok. Its when I don't care anymore that I then worry.

@Snowie @AuntGlow I just got a scented candle delivered today. But can’t smell it. Got the sniffles today not sure if hay fever or I’m getting a cold. Just took painkillers as my back is starting to ache. Have been sitting a lot this afternoon. Will take a hay fever tablet to see if that works. Need to get up and blow my nose.

Take care of yourself Snowie. Thanks for all your support Aunt Glow.