My special place

I know I won't convince her @rav3n so don't even try.

I learnt from a very young age to avoid her as much as possible. My father was very quiet and reserved whilst my mum would get angry so easily and yell so much. I guess they say opposites attract. Maybe thats why I spent so much of my time in my bedroom.

No dinner. My appetite is non existent. I did have lunch so at least I've eaten today.

Hae you got many plans for tomorrow?

@Eve7 💕💕

How is your night looking?

hmm yep i see what you mean, my mum's constantly yelling/lecturing me too and i'd hide in my room hoping she'd forget i was in the house. a lil escape room.

@Snowie hope you get a lil appetite back, if not, maybe some water before bed. 💙

it's my parents anniversary & my birthday tomorrow so we're going out for dinner to celebrate that. how about you? op shop run?

i'll be heading off soon, good night and hope tomorrow is better for you ✨

@rav3n if I don't speak to you tomorrow Happy Birthday 🎉🎉

I hope you have a really nice dinner.

Am heading to bed myself too.

Thanks so much for keeping me company tonight. It has really helped

@Snowie

🩵💜🩵

Proud of myself today. Got through the day with only having the recommended amount of prn. After the last few weeks that was a win!

Saw gp, she was running late. Was a rushed appt., in and out in 10 mins. Seemed like it was just ticking the boxes.

Mum had a really bad day. She couldn't write any of her xmas cards for people so I wrote about 12 cards, did the envelopes and then went and posted them for her. She even admitted to me that she's not sure if she should be driving.

Even though we have issues she is still my mum. It's hard when she says she's so stupid, why did she have to get this, she wishes she was dead. I don't know how to respond to that. Whilst I don't mind helping her or driving her places, I think we are almost at the point where we need assistance from outside people. Another process to go through.

@Snowie wow, doozy of a day!! That's really hard with your mum, it sounds like it is ramping up? Like is she making those kinds of self-deprecating more often than before?

Aye, a process for sure. I hope it doesn't all fall on your shoulders alone. And more to the point, I hope it goes swiftly and brings relief to your energy reserves!!

What are you up to tonight?

It certainly is ramping up @Jynx She is saying statements like this more often now. I don't want to say to her "don't say that" b/c it's better for her to get it out.

We have an appt. next Wed with a Specialist so hoping to get more answers and support then.

Struggling big time with letters and numbers. She loves playing card games on her ipad and even that is a struggle now.

Not a lot tonight. Just watching some tv and probably an early night.

Ach, would be almost dizzying to be around all the time hey @Snowie? Just never knowing what the next hurdle will be, or the next bout of you having to focus all your energy on regulating after a crappy comment.

Do you have any respite planned? As in, any holidays or time away?

I gots to dash but we can keep chatting tomorrow if you're about! Rest well darlin, take care of your wonderful self 💜

Thanks @Jynx

Hubby and I are going away in Feb to Japan. The kids will be here but not sure what to do with mum, if we put her in respite or not.

I don't want her to go somewhere she doesn't want to, but I don't want the responsibility to fall onto the kids either. Tough decisions.