My special place

Hi @Ru-bee

I do find it an adjustment settling back in. I get home and realise just how bad things were before I went in, how bad I was. How much my husband had to do whilst I was admitted.

I have got a lot of appointments this week. The gp, my pdoc, my psych, all those appointments I had to cancel a few weeks ago. Hopefully when I see my pdoc he will have the discharge summary from the hospital so I don't have to repeat everything.

I feel like she is at the point where an extended break just isn't possible now. I know it's not her fault, but I'm not too sure where else we go to from here. Have been waiting for a specialist appointment for the last 4-5 months and still on the wait list to get an appt. Haven't even gotten a date yet.

I've spent today on the phone for my mum, talking to 3 different health funds and taking her to the chemist in the next town over.

I hope you have been well.

Oh yeah, I hope they're able to give you that summary @Snowie. I imagine having to explain over and over would get exhausting.

It sounds like it's been really eye-opening coming home. Isn't it surprising how hard it can be to see what's happening in the moment? Being able to look back now and see how different you were is a clear sign of how far you've come!

I'm going well, I just had a little long weekend which was really nice.

How's today going for you? Any appointments for you or your mum?

hello my sister @Snowie

sitting with you and thinking of how you are going today xx

hey @Snowie !! just caught up and i hear your back home, hope the transition back is going okay. totally fair if it is taking a bit of time to get back into routines, etc., no one expects you to fit right back in where you left off. i see that you've got quite a few appointments coming up as well, hope they all go well. 💗

@Ru-bee my pdoc normally gets a summary so hopefully he has received it by Thursday when I have the appt. with him.

Hi my sister @Shaz51 I hope things have gone well for you today too.

I have spent this afternoon on the phone with Mum's private health fund. Finally got an answer and she is covered for a procedure coming up. Finally got the all clear. They will really try and get out of paying if they can. I told her not to change funds again without talking to me first.

@rav3n I still have some appointments coming up in the next few days. Back to the hospital on Friday for ECT, but as an outpatient this time. Means hubby has to take me in but at least I don't have to stay in.

The last 3 nights I have cooked some of the kids favourite meals. I think they missed my cooking!

Still trying to catch up on things but do realise it won't come all at once. Just making sure I take my time and not putting too much pressure on myself.

ahh i see, glad you get to do them as outpatient sessions! @Snowie aww yay!! what a treat for your kiddos to get all their fav meals!! 😋

@rav3n I can do one ect session per month for about the next 6 months. It just means that I continue it, but hubby just drives me in, waits for me and then drives me home. Hopefully having it once a month is enough to keep me stable and out of hospital.

Nothing like home cooked meals!!

So had ECT this morning, at the same hospital where I was admitted for the last 3 1/2 weeks.

Hubby drives me in, waits around, and then picks me up. It is not worth coming home in between. It is over a 2 hour round trip. We have to leave home at 6am. The joys of living rural.

Also, my daughter has to get up early to take her brother to school.

I do realise that by doing this once a month, it is better than me being admitted. When I am an inpatient, it puts a lot more pressure on everyone. Everyone has to adapt and do more things. I know they say it's ok, but the guilt I feel is huge.

The worry I have is that last time I did monthly ECT I ended up in hospital anyway. I hope that this doesn't happen again. That everyone's effort isn't in vain. That me putting them out isn't for nothing.

I know there is a lot more factors that are in play, that keep me out. I just hope that it all goes in the right direction this time. It is hard however to be positive.

I just spoke to the pdoc who I was seeing when I was in there. He has booked me in again for 4 weeks time. I guess at least between now and then I have appointments with my psych and pdoc, so do have that support in place.

Anyway enough babble for now.

Thanks for reading if you got all the way through.

Hi there @Snowie my dear,

Thanks for sharing! I feel like I haven't connected with you in a while.

How are you finding things woth the ECT?

I'm glad to hear your children are pretty much independent. You've done so well with them 🙂

Have you been up to much lately otherwise?

Hi @tyme

nice to 'see' you too. I haven't been around as much lately.

I had 10 sessions of ECT as an inpatient so that was 3 a week. That certainly helped. I think it also helped just being in there and focusing on my MH. When I was admitted I was in a pretty dark place mentally, so I think anything would have helped. Even my psych thought hospital was a good idea, and she normally doesn't favor it. I only got out last Saturday.

So today was the first ECT session as an outpatient. So I guess just doing one every 4 weeks will have a different effect on me. Hopefully I still go in the right direction.

Since being home I have been on a cleaning spree, doing everything I normally would have done if I was home. Also been cooking the kids favourite meals. H can cook but not like me!! I think just getting back into the swing of things can be hard, so just trying to get back to what I call 'the norm'.