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Something’s not right

My special place

My special place

Well yesterday certainly threw everything off track. But thanks to some very thoughtful and kind people I was able to get threw it and continue.

I cannot say a lot about what happened as I am sure you all understand but need this support in place.

Things WILL be ok, just a lot to work out.

Psych visit yesterday sorted out some of the things and more things will be happening early next week.

I am sorry if I put anyone through any despair, but unfortunately what happened yesterday morning had to be done.

Thank you all for your continued support.

@outlander@Sans911@Former-Member@Bubbles3@Bunniekins@Shaz51@CheerBear@Phoenix_Rising@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@Zoe7@Queenie@Former-Member

Brain still not functioning anyone so sorry if I missed anyone

for @Phoenix_Rising as I know how much you don't like love hearts!!!

21283 replies

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In response to: My special place

Re: My special place

I think that is ok @creative_writer Sometimes it is hard to find where we do belong. We can spend so much of our life just trying to fit in. And for what? To pretend we are something different so people accept us.

If someone doesn't accept me for who I am, then they are not worth being around. That goes for family too. You as a person, you as who you are is worth so much more.

Surround yourself with people that lift you up, not tear you down.

In response to: Re: My special place

Re: My special place

@Snowie don’t get me wrong, my family is supportive and loving. I do have a bit of developmental trauma from growing up with a mum with mental illness. I have always felt so guilty talking about it. I have visibly seen my mum suicidal and have heard things. It’s not easy for a child. That I’ve become afraid of triggering her. She has said things like she would rather die than have the police come over for a welfare check (for my SI). She says stuff without thinking sometimes. I had to keep myself safe and her calm at the same time even when I was far from being calm. I feel like there might have been times an admission could’ve been helpful, but I just couldn’t do it. I just had to stay safe at home

In response to: Re: My special place

Re: My special place

That must have been really hard on you growing up @creative_writer, especially if your mum wasn't getting the help she needed. Sometimes our parents can omit to much onto us. I find my mum does a lot, even to this day. Sometimes I think I am the outlet for her.

In response to: Re: My special place

Re: My special place

@Snowie sometimes I feel like I must hold it together for her sake. She emotionally supports her mum. I feel like I’m meant to do the same. I don’t want my children to feel like they have to support me though. I feel like sometimes the same patterns repeat themselves

In response to: Re: My special place

Re: My special place

I can understand that @creative_writer

There are time times when I feel that way too. That history is just repeating itself. I vowed not to be like my mum.

In response to: Re: My special place

Re: My special place

@Snowie I’m sure you’re a different person than her. You are amazing. You sound like a caring soul, and an amazing mum to your kids 💖

In response to: Re: My special place

Re: My special place

Thanks @creative_writer for the lovely words. I am nothing like my mother. People would always say that I am my fathers daughter. I take after him in every way.

I think having children and raising them, we always try to do some things differently than what our parents did, or in my case what my mother did.

I'm not sure about you, but I do think that because I am the female, looking after my mother has fallen to me.

In response to: Re: My special place

Re: My special place

@Snowie I don't know about you, are you the only daughter, or the oldest daughter? I'm the oldest daughter, so I have a lot of weight to carry

In response to: Re: My special place

Re: My special place

I am the only daughter @creative_writer My father died 9 years ago so mum only has me. Well I do have an older brother but he is useless. I think the last time I spoke to him was over 2 years ago.

In response to: Re: My special place

Re: My special place

@Snowie sorry to hear about your dad. Families can be complicated at times, both immediate and extended, it's hard. I still feel close to my immediate family despite not telling them about the thoughts that go through my head everyday. It's hard pretending. The amount of drama in my extended family is another story. I blame my late uncle's wife (I deleted her from the family mentally, I know that sounds harsh but I hold a lot of anger), I feel like she took him from us. No wonder why my mum doesn't trust people. There is also drama between my mum and my paternal grandma. If you can't trust family, who can you trust?
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