My special place

I try and at least keep up my fluids @creative_writer if I don't have an appetite.

You still got some done hon which is better then nothing. Yes we could always do more but sometimes we need to acknowledge what we have achieved.

I love the feeling of fresh sheets, especially when you crawl into bed at night. They feel so comfortable and soothing.

You can come to my house and do the washing if you want. With two teenagers it doesn't seem to end!! I wash every day just to keep up with it.

I have been using some lines lately. I think I just get to the stage where I just want to numb myself, to not feel or think. They are just too loud at times.

It's hard when exhaustion hits @creative_writer I think our hormones can play up so much, especially with the meds we are on.

I always use my dryer. Don't think I could survive without it, especially in the winter time. In the summer I don't really use it.

I have a list of things I can do to cope with my urges. I try and use them as much as I can. They do help at times and have saved me a number of times. It is when I dissociate or when my thoughts escalate that I have the issues. It is also my mindset at times, especially if I am ashamed of myself.

Thats frustrating @creative_writer Perhaps if it continues it is something you can get checked out by your gp.

I think a lot of it has to do with my mindset. I know what is right and wrong, yet I get so frustrated at myself that 'wrong' seems to win. Then I sh, then I feel ashamed, then I want to sh even more and so on. Then the SI thoughts start to creep in until there seems no other way. It is sometimes like a vicious circle.

It is certainly an ongoing journey. I think sometimes I am beyond it all, that there is only one solution to everything. Thats when I get scared of myself.

You are right, it is a coping strategy @creative_writer

Sometimes I can control it and other times I can't. I do think that the time between SH is something that really should be acknowledge. That the longer we can go, the better. Of course we will always have slip ups, we all have those times. It is a matter of not judging yourself too harshly during these times.

That's where I know I need to improve. I put so much blame onto myself.

I'm so glad you are at a point where it is becoming less frequent for you. It really does show how much progress you have made. You should be really proud of yourself.

@Snowie @creative_writer this warms me to read, the graciousness and understanding you've got for each other. Hope I'm not overstepping, just wanted to say it made me happy to read 💜

Thank you @Jynx You are certainly no over stepping.

People find SH and SI such taboo topics at times. Having others that understand our mindset can help so much. Just knowing that you are not alone can help too.

Absolutely agree @Snowie - especially since shame can be such a huge part of the SH cycle at times, so being able to share openly (and not only without fear of judgement, but also getting the understanding of shared experience) is absolutely invaluable. Just another little reminder of why I'm so passionate about this space, and the power of our community connections 💜