My special place

Wow @Eve7 that certainly sounds like a mansion. Would probably get lost in it!!

I would feel overwhelmed too. Sometimes simple is so much better. They probably have a maid if they can afford all those cars!

I'm tired today. Did something I shouldn't have done. Can't undo it. Angry at myself.

Spoke to my pdoc and told him what is happening. Mentioned hospital again and a med change. He is going away too so he didn't want to do the med change whilst he is not in the country.

Not sure what to feel atm.

Yes it was amazing @Snowie and apparently a team of 3 come regularly to clean the house while the care are washed and polished weekly!! You almost need a cut lunch to go from the front door to the back door but there’s a lift to go upstairs.

Im sorry about your day and that pdoc is going away Mine is going overseas too and I only have 2 visits prior to that. Also battling sh right now.

I’ll be here for you 😊

Not sure if I would want a house that big @Eve7 Would certainly get lost! A lift is quite extravagant too.

It is hard when our supports go away. I know they are entitled to their holidays, but it does make it difficult to cope.

I'm sorry about your sh thoughts. I find it so hard to control especially when I dissociate. I don't feel like I am winning the battle. I am losing in every way.

It is difficult to deal with that @Snowie

I see pdoc tomorrow and the mh nurse is visiting. She is good so I’ll have her while pdoc is away. It’s a service covered by my private health and called “hospital in the home”. I wonder if you could get that type of service.

Hi @Snowie @Eve7 - we are hear for you both.

Thank you for sharing what has been happening for you.

It doesn't sound easy.

I'm here if you need a chat.

Sometimes, it's not just about 'fixing' things, but just having someone to sit with.

@Eve7 I am so glad you have the mh nurse hon. I hope both of you appointments go well for you and they can help you. Do you talk to your nurse about your sh at all? Hopefully she fills the spot left by your pdoc whilst they are away. I have private cover so something I can look into. At this stage I will take anything.

@tyme it feels like nothing will ever get 'fixed'. It just seems like a never ending battle with myself. Unfortunately I feel powerless to stop myself from going down that path.

The mh nurse usually asks if I’ve been sh and last week she asked to see it but I declined to let her @Snowie That was only the 2nd visit but I might show her tomorrow.

Thanks @tyme it helps to know you’re around.

It might be good just to get it checked out @Eve7 It would be very brave of you to let her see it too.

I've only ever let my pdoc see mine and that was quite awhile ago. I try to hide it from the world. H sometimes sees it but I try and hide it from him too.

It is a constant reminder of me failing myself.

Hugs @Eve7 @Snowie

Is there ANYTHING that could give you some relief tonight such as watching tv, spending time with your children, journaling? @Snowie