My special place

Have a good sleep @Snowie

I’ll try and login during the day tomorrow but if I can’t I’ll know you’re there.

Does anyone else have no friends?

I'm sorry @outlander just having a rough day.

I have not one friend. Yes my hubby and I have some friends but they are all hubby's friends. Then their partners have become our friends. I would never just go out with the 'girls' nor am I never invited if they go out somewhere. There is no one that would just ring me up and see how I was or want to grab a coffee. And it is not just now. Even when I was younger I didn't have any friends. I wouldn't hang around with people, I would just go of by myself. There is not one person I stay in contact with from school, uni or work.

The only conclusion I can come to is that there is something wrong with me. Maybe I am so damaged that people see this and don't want to get close to me. Maybe the SA from when I was young made me not trust anyone.

I realised that if I pass away then I would have no friends attend my funeral. I realise that I am lonely. The only people who listen to me are my psych and pdoc and that is because they are paid to do so, not because they like me. Maybe I am unlikeable and unlovable. Maybe I am just plain useless.

Hearing you @Snowie Like you, I do not have friends. I have acquaintances and people I work with but no-one I truly trust. I had one person I could call a friend but not sure that is the case now 😔 Certainly no-one I would share anything with.

I think we do learn to mistrust people from our experiences and it takes a lot to change that. I was also a bit of a loner ....have been all my life but unlike you, I am not lonely. I choose to be on my own. There is such a societal need to connect with others and have people around us all the time but for me I like the space on my own ...yes it has been a learnt situation to protect myself but I also am most comfortable and happy alone with my fur babies.

I definitely hear you though Hon and although we cannot take that loneliness from you, I hope we can at least provide a little love, care and support for you.

These are the times that the forums are hard - because I would love nothing more than to be sitting right next to you and letting you know that you do have a friend 💙💙💙

Thanks @Zoe7

I have always liked my own company too. When I was younger I would have rather been by myself then with others.

I am not sure if it is loneliness or unhappiness or maybe both.

I guess I just wish there was someone out there that would maybe think of me as a 'friend' and not my 'friends wife'.

I know I have you and others on here but if I went away then eventually I would be forgotten. You are right, the forums are hard in times like this.

Thanks @outlander @creative_writer

I have had SI thoughts today so maybe that has stirred some thoughts.

I know there are strong correlations between SA and trust issues. I know that my past has affected my trust issues, I know that I probably push people away, yet just once I would like someone to think of me in my real life and ask How I am. Even though I probably wouldn't tell them the truth, just the thought of someone thinking of me as a separate person from my husband is comforting.

I don't know, maybe it is just me that is the problem. I look at myself and think that I wouldn't want to be friends with her either.

I can 100% tell you that you would never be forgotten here my sweet, sweet @Snowie There are people that enter our lives that leave indelible marks - you are one of them Hon. No it is not the same as having someone you can go to or talk to physically but do not ever underestimate you friendship here with so many. You make a difference in our lives and that is something 💙💙💙