My special place

@Snowie Hoping that you're OK...

Sending good wishes for this year for you 💙

Well I ended 2022 with a failed attempt. Can't even do that right.

Feels like just another day, another fail.

I am struggling to do it day by day let alone looking at the new year. Maybe it's best.

@Snowie 💕😢

im sorry hon. I don’t really have many other words to offer, but I’m glad you’re still here.

@Bow I wish it was different for you too.

Still another 2 1/2 weeks until I can talk to my psych. I don't think I can wait that long.

I have tried other help lines but it isn't helping.

That’s a long way away still @Snowie im sorry you have to wait so long. I’m really thankful I will see mine on Wednesday.

im laying in bed with the fan on. Lotsa not good thoughts rolling around inside my head today. And I’m not really feeling safe here on the forums at the moment.

I understand not feeling really safe on the forums at the moment @Bow I feel the same way, yet I feel like I have no where else to go or to turn to.

I am meant to have ect again next Friday but feel like just quitting it. It is not making me feel any better. I did email my psych but she probably isn't checking her emails. Why would she when she is on holidays. She deserves the time off.

I am so glad for you that you see your psych on Wednesday. I hope you can stay safe till then and be able to benefit from your appointment.

Those thoughts can consume us so much and can eventually take over our whole being.

Yeah I’m kinda the same @Snowie i like being here, I appreciate the support and being around others. I guess I have to try and remember to just stay on threads that I know I’m ok with…. But I like reading new ones, I’d like to be there for others, but they are often really unsafe 😩

should you be noticing an improve with your ect by now?

I agree @Bow I want to be there for others and read new threads but they are a big trigger at the moment. But everything seems like a trigger. Trying to stay off facebook too. Over seeing how others have it so great and I am just going downhill.

I thought I would have seen a difference from ect by now. Maybe I am just putting all my eggs into one basket and I shouldn't be.

Have you got much planned for this afternoon?

@Snowie Yeah it’s a tricky time of the year on social media. It’s depressing seeing what everyone else has got … good times, family and friends, succeeding at life, holidaying from work or study. And yep, im just sinking into a big pit.

im sorry your not seeing any difference. Perhaps with everything else that is going, it may take some more time? I’d say it’s probably not the best time of the year to be expecting big changes… with Christmas and new year, it’s hard enough! Maybe if you had ect in the middle of the year you would see changes already??

not much planned @Snowie just laying in bed with the fan on. Tv is on but not really watching it. I’m tired. We stayed up til midnight. And then went to my old pastors house for lunch and swim. They often open their house up for the first Sunday of the year for the whole church. Not many there today though. I really didn’t wanna go, im feeling really insecure about my body at the moment. I don’t want to see anyone. But daughter had been looking forward to it, so we went for a little while.