FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Friends, families and carers

Anxiety and paranoia

Anxiety and paranoia

Hi everyone, I am new toy the forum and would like some advice on how to deal with my elderly mother's delusions. She lives with me and my husband and child. She normally goes to my brother's house on weekends to give me and my family a break from care. She does not have dementia, but have always been an anxious person who has suffered with anxiety and depression on and off over the years. We lost dad suddenly in a traumatic fall at home nearly 2 years ago. Recently, she had a relapse of her anxiety and depression but this time, she has delusions that my brother has intentions of taking her away from my house to live with him and his wife permanently and that as a punishment for being "difficult" and nagging, would be locked up in their apartment all week with not food or medication while they go to work. No amount of convincing eases her paranoia. Now she wants to stay with me 24/7. Admittedly my brother did suggest that she could live with them if and when things got too hard for me to manage, but certainly would care for her needs eg food and meds etc.... I am worn out with her constant demands to stay with me or to find ways of getting her out of the "prison" at my brothers such as ringing the police if he doesn't bring her back to me at the end of the weekend..... How to break in if she's locked in etc.... My brother was hoping he could offer me help rather that locking her up and now, she is paranoid of eveb leaving my place in case he finds her and "takes her away"... She is taking medication to help with anxiety and delusions, but the recent increase in dose might take a couple if weeks to kick in. How do I cope in the meantime?

18 replies

11 - 18 of 18

In response to: Anxiety and paranoia

Re: Anxiety and paranoia

Hi @Former-Member,
Thanks for checking, life is still hectic at times but since mum is still getting good care in hospital, I can at least breathe a little better.

The thought of the future is unsettling as I don't think I can care for mum and my family as well. At some point my brothers will have to take care of her or find alternative living arrangements for her.

In response to: Re: Anxiety and paranoia

Re: Anxiety and paranoia

Hi @Susana *hugs*

Was just reading your posts re: your mum. How is she today, and how are you? Sorry to hear your mum is in hospital but hopefully, she will receive the help she needs. When my mum has been hospitalised it also gives me a reprieve but then I feel guilty because I can actually relax without worrying about her. I'm sure these are the usual feelings a lot of carers have though.

It sounds like your brother isn't able to give the support to your mum that you can. I know how that feels - I have an older sister but she does not help me at all with my caring role. If anything, she can tend to trigger my mum's depression and anxiety.

Sending love your way.

x

In response to: Anxiety and paranoia

Re: Anxiety and paranoia

Hi @Bella1978,

I am slowly learning not to feel guilty when mum's being cared for in hospital as she is safe there and getting the professional attention that she needs. I also can then invest im much needed quality time with my own family.

My brothers all work very demanding jobs and so it's difficult for them to care for her into the same capacity that I have tried to these past couple of years. However, being the only daughter contributes to me landing with the bulk of the day to day caring. However, I now realise that it's not sustainable the way it's been going the last couple of years as I also have a young son with autism as well.

Actually I think mum's depency on me is not healthy for her either.....

There's an article shared in one of the other forums that I found helpful in distinguishing between a caregiver and a caretaker. I am learning to be more like the caregiver as I had been functioning more as a caretaker all my life.

I will post the link to the article when I find it.

In response to: Anxiety and paranoia

Re: Anxiety and paranoia

Hi @Bella1978,

Here's the link: http://mhr4c.com.au/coping-strategies/self-care/

Hope you find it helpful too.

@Faith-and-Hope shared it originally in the carers tips post.

In response to: Re: Anxiety and paranoia

Re: Anxiety and paranoia

Hey @Susana - thanks heaps for the link - will check it out.

sending you love and hugs

In response to: Anxiety and paranoia

Re: Anxiety and paranoia

@Susana. How are you? 😘

In response to: Anxiety and paranoia

Re: Anxiety and paranoia

Hi @Bella1978,

Sorry it's taken me such a long time to reply! I am not too bad...thanks for asking! Mum is in her 6th week at residential respite and starting to find her feet again... Which is really a relief. She did have a fall just over a week ago though... Thankfully nothing was broken and she is recovering from minor strains, bruise remarkably well. Our little family is fighting off this season's cold at present, hence have trying to stay away from mum so we don't pass any nasties to her. As a consequence, my brothers have had too do more of the visiting, which in retrospect has been good.

Just read your latest thread one the mutual support forum.... Sounds like your mum is getting the professional attention she needs at the moment even though it was hard to get her there in the fiest place. Goos thing that you are taking things one day at a time.... That's the way to go.

Take care of yourself too! X

In response to: Re: Anxiety and paranoia

Re: Anxiety and paranoia

Hello @Susana, @Bella1978, @Former-Member, we love you and we are thinking you oxoxoxoxo

11 - 18 of 18