Mother issues.

Hi @Lemonjuice

Thank you for sharing your experience here on the SANE forum. The situation with your mother sounds incredibly hard. On one hand, it sounds like you have compassion for her and love her; however, on the other hand, it sounds like you are somewhat bitter (understandably!) towards her for how she has affected your own mental health and at the same time feel that she is preventing you from leading the life you want to lead.

Although it can be a great help to be there for a loved one with mental illness, it is just as, or even more, important to care for you own mental health! I always think of the analogy of putting on your own oxygen mask, before you put on your child's oxygen mask. Ultimately, how are you able to help someone else, if you are struggling to help yourself in the first place? For that reason, I think it is great that you are setting some boundaries and intend to go to the upcoming lectures and talks, without fear or guilt preventing you from doing these things you want to do. At the very least, you can rest with the fact that your niece and nephew will be home when you go to the tutes in the evenings. As you said below, I hope that things get easier for both you and that overtime she realises that you having your own Independence does not equate to you abandoning her.

In the meantime, you may like to have a read of the following article that articulates a similar situation: "coping with family" by @Ali585.

Please take care and reach out if you need!

Kindest,

Amour_Et_Psyché

Hi @Lemonjuice

Mother issues - I certainly understand what you are writing about - I got away from home by getting married - a mistake but I think I would have been stuck there with my mother had I not escaped and my mother was consumed with fears I didn't understand

So I can't know exactly how you feel I have had my own Mother Issues

How long has your mother lived in Australia? I know there are many people who never learn to speak English but frankly that amazes me - if I was even going to visit another country I would be learning tourists basics - and European languages - wow - never mind me though - I just like learning things

You really must do everything you can to live you own life and follow your ideas and dreams and study - knowledge is everything - it enables us to do more and more - I am so glad I studied everything I studies - it serves me well everyday and I wish you the best

But I also sense the despair of your mother doing her best to keep you prisoner in some way - I would never dream of crimping my daughter's life - I have her that life and it is hers and she has the freedom to live it how she chooses and I am really proud of her actually

But still - you have mother issues - I am so sorry - it is really hard but you really need to care for your own health - mental, physical, social, spiritual -

All the best Lemonjuice - I am glad you are here sharing - you do bring up some interesting topics

Dec