Connect with people who understand what you are going through,
seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're
free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
Hi, I want to ask for advice from anyone who is experiencing DID or someone with a psych background.
For the last couple of years I have a new alter which is violent and furious, only towards myself. The last couple of weeks were particularly bad. Then my therapist saw me last Friday and my mood lifted and I felt such relief and safer. I thought I was over the worst of it. But today, while I am still feeling good, she's/it's still there. I'm scared that I might return to the state I was in the previous past two weeks where I was suicidal.
What can I do? How do you control yours? What is the standard method of dealing with DID and violent alters these days?
Sorry, I dont have any advice for you with this, but sorry to hear that you're going through such a scary experience with this alter 😞 I was wondering if @-Rayne- or @Maggie might have any ideas or advice, (but don't feel as though you have to respond either, just tagging in case you might want to and miss it otherwise).
Lemonjuice, im glad that your psychologist helped last week too, is there any chance of contacting them again soon for extra support if things get scarier?
Take care
In response to: Re: DID advice.
-Rayne-Senior Contributor
Re: DID advice.
Hi @Lemonjuice, we’ve dealt with this - still do from time to time. I don’t know about a standard method but am happy to talk about the way we manage it. How much internal communication do you have?
Thanks for the tag @Former-Member - hope you’re doing well.
In response to: DID advice.
LemonjuiceSenior Contributor
Re: DID advice.
@Former-Member Hi, thanks for tagging them for me. Yeah, it is kind of scary but more than that it is exhausting constantly trying to keep alert and in control. Unfortunately my therapist is volunteering his services, there's no other options inbetween sessions and he can't help inbetween. I just tried to sleep and one of the children wants to meet him to tell him how much she misses the previous therapist and (lol, she's telling me to tell you) she didn't leave teddy behind. The previous therapists had children's toys on a shelf and there was a particular teddy that she became attached to. It's mad cause eventhough I think this is nonsense, for example, I feel sad that my previous therapist left, I'm not heartbroken by that until the child alter turns up and then, even without switching, there are tears in my eyes and sadish feelings. It's so weird. Then there's the violent alter. It wants to send a text to the therapist to tell him that they aren't going to be involved in 'therapy' and that he better get rid of us or it's going to destroy us. There's a lot of namecalling and threats, violence and throwing about of imaginary chairs in the imaginary therapists room. I can't let her/it text him, although I wish I could cause it would shut it up. I get the therapist's reasoning about inbetween session contact. I can't seem to relax when I am in his office to let the others out...they turn up everywhere but where they should in his office.
Now you know why I sleep with a movie going in the background. :face_with_rolling_eyes:
In response to: Re: DID advice.
Unknown userMember
Re: DID advice.
Hi @Lemonjuice
I understand about the therapist now, thanks. I'm sorry that you lost your previous therapist, it is hard but can also imagine that it would be confusing to not be sure of the feelings from which/where as well over it. I'm glad your lil one is able to tell me about the teddy bear, i hope that maybe the new therapist can maybe have a teddy in the office for her one day, or maybe she/you can take one with you which could also draw her out at the office maybe? or maybe with time they'll develop more trust with him... Would your angry alter write a letter to the therapist that you could then put away and take in later?
About to get ready for bed here 🙂 I sleep with music going all night to try and drown out memories and nightmares/flashbacks that dont end on waking at night. gah! but work tomorrow so i need to try and sleep sigh...
Take care of you all 🙂
In response to: DID advice.
LemonjuiceSenior Contributor
Re: DID advice.
@-Rayne- Hi, I wrote some more above, I think that should answer your question. I'm aware all the time, co-conscious, although there is forgetfulness and a couple of blackouts. Mostly, it is happening underground...the switching. Like I was happy with my therapist and had a sense of bonding with him up until a couple of weeks ago. Where I know who he is but feel nothing about him and don't have a sense of familarity with him. It's slowly coming back since Friday. But yeah, we communicate but I won't feel.
In response to: DID advice.
LemonjuiceSenior Contributor
Re: DID advice.
@Former-Member Thanks for your kind words. You have a fan...🐻😂
In response to: Re: DID advice.
Unknown userMember
Re: DID advice.
Here's a teddy for her to have on the forums 🙂
G'night 🙂
In response to: DID advice.
LemonjuiceSenior Contributor
Re: DID advice.
@Former-Member Thanks and goodnight.
In response to: Re: DID advice.
-Rayne-Senior Contributor
Re: DID advice.
@Lemonjuice I'm sorry it took me so long to get back here. We totally understand how hard it can be with a new therapist!
In response to your original question, we generally use a combination of internal containment (if there's a real threat) i.e. building some structure in our internal world to prevent them from harming the body or another person/alter, and at the same time working to find out what they need, what their concerns are, and addressing them. The second usually takes some time so the first is a stop-gap measure to keep prevent harm in the meantime.
I'm not sure if that helps at all. Happy to answer any more questions. It's always good to see more collectives here 🙂
In response to: DID advice.
LemonjuiceSenior Contributor
Re: DID advice.
@-Rayne- Thanks for that. Sorry for not replying sooner...haven't felt much like communicating. That does help. I've asked that part what they want and they say nothing...just to see me dead in the most violent way. They don't want to talk with the therapist. They will not be part of therapy. And while all the others have an image, ie, female, blond, etc., all I see is black...like a black fog and it doesn't have a name. It's calmed down over the past week probably because it knows I am feeling better and not going to suicide.
I know about the idea of talking with alters and figuring out what they want but what if they don't want to talk or participate or if they don't want anything but death for the body. Maybe that is why they exist, just to harm and destroy the body. What happens then? Maybe I am stuck with this thing for the rest of my life...in which case maybe they are right and we shoiuld just end it.
We're improving how you access SANE services, starting with Forums
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
