BPD and managing emotions

Hi Billamba

Of course you want to be 'normal'! But some people are just a wee bit differently organised at their genetic level and if they had some difficulties when young, then this kind of not being able to handle emotions can crop up. & that's where extra tools are needed. Also, even if people have been given a bad set of cards to begin with, they can still get a winning hand at the end. The bad beginning is not destiny!

That's an excellent idea about the bright visual page/poster! Go for it!

& With mindfullness / brain training, one should just do it diligently every day, just non-judgementally noticing any thoughts and emotions that pop up, and then return your focus onto whatever you were attending to (which could be sounds, touch sensatiions, your breath, the darkness in front of your eyes....). This activity will physically change & heal your brain over time (brain scans can show that now ). Hence start as soon as possible. Don't wait. It might take about 6-8 weeks to notice some benefit. So be patient. It's a bit hard doing it from reading about it only though, is there a group near by you right now?

Wish you all the best!

cheerios for now

@Billamba

Here's a copy of the Thought Record I use. The idea is to fill one out each time you have an overwhelming emotion. So my PDoc wanted me to fill out one daily. After a while I only really do it when I am completely overwhelmed, as I can mostly do it in my head to a certain degree.

Also, I think the daily journal was this thread I started. I haven't been using scales on it, as one day I can "handle" things, so would score low on a scale, where the following day the same thing could completely overwhelm me. I have an alarm set on my phone that goes off each night, and the only way I can shut off the alarm is by taking a picture of the inside cover of the diary.

It may be a good idea to try the daily journal. I'm not writing much, just how much sleep I got, how I feel right now, and a rough description of my day, including and emotions I felt, and how I handled them.

How do you mean @Rochelle23??

In order to get help in the form of DBT, I completely upended my life. I sold my home of 22 years because it was literally killing me to stay there in isolation any longer. I ended up in care because of it. I then moved over 100klm and am back to renting again. The money is a concern, but whilst in care, I had the most beautiful psychiatrist. It's rare for me, but we just hit it off right away when I saw how she calmly handled my sister's rage which was directed at the system.

Since then, I've had to swap to a whole new psych team because of the area I'm now living in (didn't see that one coming) and I don't trust the psych at all. I'm seeing my case worker today and I just know she's going to tell me that the psych is either taking me off a particular medication that's really helped with my stress and anxiety, social phobia etc, or has lowered the dose. I've been keyed up terribly about the possible medication change since I saw her well over a week ago. She told me she was going to review my meds and asked me how I'd handle a lower dose. Then I had to wait almost two weeks for my case manager to return from her break. It's been an emotional roller coaster with a couple of incidents of SH and using something I can't mention here. People say to me...... "Settle down and wait to see what your case manager has to say before getting so distraught, but they don't have BPD. It's just not that easy!!

I've only just got my Internet back on since the move, so haven't been on here much. Of course I haven't even addressed the topic and I'm sorry about that. I guess all I can say is that when I'm in a highly emotional state, as I am at present, everything I've learned about mindfullness etc, just goes out the window. At least it appears I've gotten into the assessment interview stage for the DBT program, but I know it's going to be hard work and I can't help but wonder if at my age, is it going to make any difference. Yep! There's that negative thinking coming to the surface again 😞

Ellie.

Hi @AnnieB

I would love to access to a mindfulness group but unfortunately I currently live in outback Australia, miles from any little town let alone a regional centre! Once I move home this will be something I will look into though. For now I just stick to Skype sessions with the MH nurse and visiting her clinic when I am in 'town'. Thank you though!

@Crazy_Bug_Lady

Thank you so much for the link to the thought record you use! It's really great for me to look at something visual like that and at the moment I've only thought my way through the process but to do it in a written form I can see will be helpful!

I think I will try your basic journaling idea. Just to have some kind of record and sometimes (generally when I am functioning closer to normal) I find writing stuff down just seems to sort of clear them from my head. Unfortunatly when I'm not functioning well it doesn't help.

Thank you so much for your suggestions and help!