Depression Dementia Dad

Things are piling up for you @Former-Member - I can hear that - and it's natural

I am sure I would not like it at all having everything happen at once the way it is for you right now

I did think though that it might be possible for you to live at your Dad's house and pay rent at a reduced price while he was in hospital and you remained his primary carer and handled his affairs etc - it's something to think about when you are taking breaks - I know my parents kept their house when they were in care but I guess these things are worked out by someone hidden behind a stack of papers somewhere hiding their own ignorance of life-issues

Thinking of you sis - I know it's really hard - one thing at a time though - it's enough

You are doing the best you can - I know that - no one can ask more of you

It seems you are over-whelmed -

Dec

Thank you @Owlunar, thanks for being here with me. Are you ok?

i woke crying today, quite depressed, coming to terms with dad not coming home. Packed away his VitalCall system this morning :(. So many losses. Strong SI. Got so upset I raced over my gay cuz place to talk. Once a MH RN for decades, I raced over to checked if they thought I was cracking / crazy? They were quick to say ‘no’ & laughed at me :(. But it’s more about feeling unsafe alone re high stress & SI talkin. Feel so tired. Only visiting dad every 2nd day atm, mainly because I make him wanna come home & feel responsible he can’t and it hurts. I miss him. And worry🦉💕

hey! I bought a new toy today, an iPhone 🙂 Still getting use to it & entering contacts etc, but getting there.

Where’s @Appleblossom ? Got you on my heart tonight girl - how are you? Sorry I’ve not found you recently. So much going on irl, just hanging on by a thread it seems. Hugz 🌸

Keeping you in thoughts and prayers @Former-Member

Still here @Former-Member spending a little less time on forum, but always open to being called on by you. Been through my own bit of turbulence with son, but hope we are settled again .... ah its a bumpy ride, but I love him more and more. Went through my own mini dementia fear.

You sound like you are dealing with trauma and loss as well caring for your dad.

Glad you found some company with cousin.

To some extent it might be out of your hands. That might also mean some letting go. accepting and relaxing with life processes. I come from a background where care from institutions was better than family care. I am also very sensitive to competitiveness about care being problematic. That you VISIT will mean your dad will get better care than those who do nt have family. Sad but true. Use the time you are not running around for him, to ease yourself into next phase of life. Art can be so healing. I may even get into it sometime ...

Yes all the bloomin bills and "t"s to be crossed and "i"s to be dotted.

You can do what is needed ... for you ... let others carry the load of your dad a little. You dont have to prove anything. Be your best self. I am grateful you asked after me.

Hi @Former-Member

Sis - you are not losing the plot - people who really are getting lost in the mental maze of natural confusion never ask that question - I don't like the word crazy - it's not happening to you though - you are overwhelmed and I am glad you went and saw your cousin about it

I can tell you from the way my mum was when she had to put her mother into a nursing home - Mum totally gave into her tears and guilt which was unnecessary - I was there and know the truth - it was too much for her as it is too much for you, And this is natural and horrible and I wish this wasn't happening

One reason you feel so bad is that you are doing this because there are not other rational choices - maybe in the past a whole family cared for their aging oldies who were losing their way through dementia - now life-styles have changed so much - think about it - if your brothers were helpful would the whole thing have been so stressful - I can hear you saying - "Um - um - yeah - my brothers made everything too hard" - so this is tough and natural and I am here for you

And I am okay too - I have a nasal spray for my hay-fever and it's working -

Right now see your Dad on alternate days as you are - you are responsible for the way you feel - this is okay - everything happening is natural after so many life-changes

That's great that you have an Iphone - good idea - I have had a smart phone for - nearly four years - they do last but mine is losing its apps and needs replacing - that will happen soon

I wish I was with you each day - I could remind you to pray - and to pray with me - that is a wonderful thing to do together

Thinking of you all the time Lapses

Dec

I will do a pause on the art journal in the Art Class thread @Former-Member, and wait until you are ready Hon. No stress. Take the time you need, and we can go ahead again when you are up for it.

I hear you with the depression crushing creativity. Distress does too, and that was where I was at for quite a while.

Hugs .... 💜🌹

@Former-Member are you ok , hope you are not near the storms my friend xoxoxo, take care