Depression Dementia Dad

❤️ @Former-Member it does sound like a really hard day.

You have plenty more to offer. Move closer to where your son is when you leave your Dad’s and your house is sold maybe ..... around an hour’s drive away ..... and find yourself a lovely church community to be involved with. He is in a different stage of life at the moment where he needs to feel he can make it on his own, but his life will change too, and hopefully there is a relationship and maybe children in his future, which is when they gravitate more to family usually. He will be very glad to have you around.

Its funny when the cats out of the bag and you find people do care. We do @Former-Member

We cannot do anything about your family, but suggest that the act of ending is different to the staying the best way you can.

I feel rejection and loneliness a great deal. I keep on stepping forward and a plan is beginning to open in front of me, that is NOT one of those plans. I have not got a lot of energy or interest in reinventing myself. It seems to involve taking a small turn, being willing to learn and be open.

Maybe you needed to finish with that house. Maybe you can buy a smaller place ... easier to maintain. I agree with @Faith-and-Hope I was a little wary about you giving away the money from the house sale. I feel I dont deserve to have my house a lot, and that is also implied by many. At least my 2 older psychologists are on side now, but it took about 4 years for them to understand my situation and charcter.

I was very low last night and this morning, but I had a good day. Great music, food and conversation.

Take Care

Apple

Ha ha ... Champion Grinder @Owlunar Thats me too

... if you are gonna do it ... do it well ...lol

Thanks @Appleblossom. I often wonder how you will manage when your son leaves home. Maybe works extra hard at cutting the apron strings like mine has. Sometimes its so hard. I have faith that God loves me x1000,000,000... ... More than any who reject me or care here on earth, and a try meditate His light into the voids that hurt so much here, but I am a flay pot, with cracks, and I don't hold it all too well. Sounds like you're the closest to knowing how I feel.

@Former-Member I have long felt quite close to you ... for many reasons.

My son is currently negotiating his transition to independent living. I am putting all those things out on the table. He is making plans and directions and time scales. So that is good. Never wanted him on my apron strings. Not my style. He does not have certain freedoms like many young men, so it is harder. I was feeling skin to @Faith-and-Hope with her and daughter in same field. Sometimes thats the way it works out. Was not my intention. We both want it to happen in the best way possible.

Sending up a few extra for you @Former-Member

Oh dear, in lala land today, didn't hlget to sleep 'till after 4am, then up 7am for nurse for dad, back to bed and up for b'fast... Couldn't sleep much with all the thoughts of what to do with no home to fall back on. Although I feel dying is an option, it may not be the best so I'm exploring alternatives. Not sure what thread to take those details.

Numb and paralysed today, but at least I got meals and washing done.

Bro4 dropped by - gave me his rego papers to pay for him. He's so hard up every week, and cause i wont give him $ he goes on about the 1,400 gift he gave each of us when he sold his first & only home 10yrs ago. Anyway, sick of it so offered to give it backback to him if the house sale goes through. He's already hit me up for it re needs help with rego... I donno, i feel had. And after i made him a cuppacuppa, already feeling so tired, he grimmiced with toot ache, andand he burped and farted and couldnt stay long and couldn't change a lightbulb for us before leaving. I just feel so drained emotionally.

Dad seems ok as can be, just went to bed forfor a rare arvo kip (like me). Set IP a clock I found for him at the OP shop. It displays the date and day as well as time. He asked me many timestimes in one day - 'what's today" as he tried to make sence of his desk calendar with apts listed

Hi @Former-Member

I'm not cranky with you - I have been having days with an upset tummy from the antibiotics and I have to have another course until I have seen the podiatrist - my tummy has been okay today but the weather - bleak - and horrible - August is nearly over and my annus horribilis will be too - I really believe in the power of thought at times

Sorry your if Dad has osteoporosis - my mother had that - or at least it looked as if she did - I think your Dad has probably not had the best diet through life - he's most likely eating better now you are feeding him than he has for a long time - good work Lapses

I have been tested and I am fine but then I have always had a good diet - esp since I have been feeding myself - in fact blood tests proved my calium levels to be high

I don't know what the weather is like in Sydney - here we had a couple of reasonable days - the back of winter has been broken I think - today though has been so bleak - I stayed in bed reading for a long time today and would have been happy to stay where I was all day but it is necessary to get up before my back starts to complain - weather has such a negative effect on back problems

Have you have your MRI yet - I have been wondering if they found anything - I am really interested in things like that

About your house - I was anxious when you said you were thinking of giving away the proceeds from your house - just having that money in some kind of bank accounts and there are many kinds - can give you a feeling of independence about the future - the time will come when your Dad's house gets sold and the money spread between 6 of you so you will need that money for a place of your own - and yes - I know myself what looks like a lot of money isn't really - a place in the country doesn't measure against a place in the city but still you do need that security for yourself and then in time - for your son

Some kids work hard at cutting the apron strings and some need them cut for them - in my family people tend to move out from home early - my daughter was still in her teens - still - I am close to her even though we don't see each other often and I know your son means a lot to you but is sometime resentful - I know - I call it Prickly Kid Syndrome and my daughter can be prickly

You are worth it Lapses so put yourself first from time to time and take care for your future - maybe it's hard to see at times and I understand this - life does change and right now I know things are hard for you

Things are fine Lapses - I am used to Melbourne weather and wouldn't go elsewhere to live but complain about it - of course - it's a city-wide occupation

I am thinking about planning my trip interstate now - I am not sure exactly when - I need to get my infected and crooked toenail fixed first

Sending hugs

DecHi Sista