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Depression Dementia Dad

Depression Dementia Dad

Is Dementia Mental Illness? It's a disease of the mind so i'm hoping i still belong here. If not for that - today at the DR he was asked if he gets depression - dad answered "yes I do get depressed" It's hard to read with dad's early vascular dementia.

Around Christmas i moved in with my parents as mum was unable to manage hersef let alone continue as dad's carer. She was end stage cancer and died in hospital palliative care only 19 days after i arrived 😞 I was shocked how sick she became in the 2months since my last three week trip.. My goodness - what a fighter she was. My two younger brothers were dropping in a couple of times a day & helped with transport, bills & shopping - but could not stay in the house.longer than 30min - becoming restless... (probably the MI-Sz / drug related) and they were wearing thin. getting angry.. Mum was so difficult / hurtful during my last stay to help, i was reluctant to come again unless she asked me to. It was hard for her but necessary. The first attempt to drive the 1200km i ran off the road & badly crashed my car - a 'Write Off' Sore bones & shellshot - I had to rest a few days before flew down.

I hit the floor running - household duties, neals & loads of patient reassurance for mum. Even giving her a bell. Wasnt easy looking them both, clearly dad had been neglected for sone time.

I was still in the bad books for reporting him as a medically 'unfit' driver during my last stay. They fought it and gad x2 doctors confer ( why not done before is beyond me).

So here i am, feeling alone with 'toxic family' threatened by my presence, the loss of my mum, a dad in grief, with early vascular dementia, diabetes, heart disease, spinal injury - poor mobility, bad incontinence. Its full on some days. Not just the cleaning up but all the medical appointments. Especially since mum had understandablly got behind on things like optometrist, pidiatrist... even the GP...

Just looking for support as feeling somewhat shattered after only x5 weeks. Big day today.

lapses

850 replies

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In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

((((((((@Dec❤))))))))

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Dad introduced me as "my eldest daughter" with the cardiologist yesterday. This was really nice. Usually at home he calls me mum's name (she not long died), so its quite a win when he gets it right / acknowledges the 'me' in his world. Just had to tell someone.

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Former-Member

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Centrelink require ID documents to prove dad exists, before giving carer's allowance. Of cause dad has no idea where his birth certificate or 65yo passport is. Fancy being alive 83yrs and having to prove you exist 😕, even though he's a war vet, gold card & all... Grr! Actually, just remembered my sis was frantic trying to of and dad's birth certificate the day after mum died & couldn't, I guess. Said she's doing ancestry, but now I wonder.

I've spent 3hrs online tonight setting up myGov, changing passwords... (😟writing as I go cause 'how the hell' am I supose to remember all this 'critically important :pile_of_poo: crap! 😠 x2 foolscap pages so far... read read read 😕... & linking Centrelink to try upload documents... & getting timed out, & system freeze... then take a break... then, THEN get totally shut out with a screen 'apology' "unable to process... at this time...GRR 😬 help, think I'm gonna blow a poofoo valvue, literally have to stop & take deep breaths to stop bursting into tears 😭 or a have a full blown 😨 😰😤😦😱😨😧... panic attack or lash out😤... help🙇 frightens me😷... Well, best nod off for the night now... 🙇I can do this...

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Hugs @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Oh my goodness, it's so sweet, 0515 Dada lifht was on and here he is sittingbup on edge of bed, bright as a button, fully dressed for he's big Veteran's Day 😮 But its still dark, I said, he looks at his watch & explains how they're picking him up in an hour... (0730 actually...). Clearly he's excited - I'm happy for him. Asked if he wanted a cup of tea, he lit up more & said "yeah, and something to eat please, smile 😀" He's funny!☺ Made him tea & toast... Made me smile...

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

That’s lovely @Former-Member ......

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Does your Dad’s Veteran card suffice for C’link @Former-Member ? Medicare card ? Build up a profile for him .... household bills etc ?

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Former-Member
Just a thought, can you apply for carers allowance through DVA? Seem to recall someone saying something about this once.

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

hello @Former-Member

the dva pensioner has more benefits especially if has a gold card than a person on a centrelink pension

...I used to work for DVA many years ago..in that section ..Dva assists the pensioner...

there would be some entitlements to adapting the home from a safety access

sharon are you your dad's appointed carer? you may have answered this already somewhere else...head to foggy to remember ...cant deal with flitting back through other threads...

if you are the carer you can provide a copy of the documentation to DVA and ring and ask any questions that you have in relation to his pension...gold card entitlements...etc...they will be able to answer general questions in relation to carers allowance and carers payment also.

The carer is the person who has to apply for the pension and that would be through centrelink..

there are two payments carers allowance and carers pension the latter being a higher payment and quite a task to get...if you are his allocated carer officially it would still be worthwhile applying for both payments...as the payment continues for a brief period after the pensioner passes..

this of course may all have changed since I worked there...my mum is on a widow's pension through DVA but no gold card as my dad was in the british airforce..

hope that I haven't confused you further..

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