merriContributor
elderly mother recently diagnosed as bipolar
Hi, I am new to this group and I have joined to seek some help in how to cope with my mum. My mother has always had mood swings but they have become very intense in the last five years. She is 91 and completely denies she is bipolar - all her life she has said she has low blood sugar and/or high blood pressure and says these are the reasons for her "collapses". It was only after several hospital visits where the doctor informed us her blood sugar levels and blood pressure levels were normal that we began to consider other issues. My husband and I had thought for a while that she was bi-polar but were made to feel guilty for even thinking there may be a mental health issue. The last five years have been exhausting as we have dealt with one crisis after another - in 2014 she had to shift house and was very unhappy with what we chose - she wasn't able to make a decision so in the end we did. Since then she has had manic episodes and chronic anxiety with barely any normal time in between. She creates legal and financial messes which have taken a long time for me to clear up. In the process, she has also become vicious, to my face and behind my back to my brother, (who lives overseas) her friends and her cousin. I was POA then unbeknown to me she took me off, she put me back on after she was scammed by a real estate agent, then she took me off again when she was involuntarily committed by a dr. She has since asked to put me back on again after falling out with her cousin. My mother can be very charismatic and charming - if things go her way, so it has been really difficult to have her behaviour addressed. I finally got her to her GP who realised whe was manic but she has since sacked him. She is currently in a private psych ward after where she was staying could no longer handle her and her psychiatrist there told me she was bipolar. I find it difficult to get information as she has removed me as next of kin. I am concerned about her welfare - she is 91 and when not manic can get very depressed - and I visit weekly. However these visits take me a long time to get over and she can be manipulative and nasty - I no longer feel safe seeing her on my own. It is disconcerting that she can then be charming to a nurse or to my brother on a phonecall. Unless anyone has a long association with her and sees the full picture, they generally think my mother is "great" and perhaps a bit bohemian. I am seeing Carer's Victoria and they have been a great help. I have come to this forum seeking guidance on how to go forward given her age and frailty versus my ability to have some peace and a normal life. Is there a support group for family members of bipolar sufferers - I live in Melbourne and I think that might help me feel not so alone in all of this.
