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Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

Dragonfly8Contributor30 Jan 2018, 4:09 am AEDT

Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

Hi,

I am new here. I have had depression since I was about 15, I'm 36 now. I never saw doctors or councillors. Sometimes things are really good and sometimes things are really bad. At the moment they are bad.

I'm not working so that is contributing to my depression. I am also pregnant. Me and my partner got into a fight last week while on the phone and we haven't spoken since. It was over something really stupid and he hung up on me. I wrote him an email later that night and told him I was feeling really depressed and I didn't know how much more I could take. I told him to phone me in a week, he wrote back to me and told me he would ring me in a few weeks. What I really meant was call me now, I'm not doing ok. We exchanged some texts during the week, but really to the point.

I've never told anybody about my depression before so it felt lije a slap in the face.

I'm always there for him and if I see that there is anything wrong I ask him about it. I guess I was expecting the same in return.

I feel really suicidal at the moment and keep thinking of ways to end things. I even wrote a suicide note.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone been through this. I feel so alone. For someone that says they love me and can't live without me, I sure don't feel loved. I really don't know what to do now. Thanks for reading.

13 replies

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In response to: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

TABSenior Contributor30 Jan 2018, 4:25 am AEDT

Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

Please contact someone re lifeline etc
Do you have family or someone you can talk to? @Dragonfly8 .. someone will see this but its not an emergency type thing re this site. Sorry to hear re boyfriend. Anyway nothings worth that.
I've got to get sleep. Sorry if that seems selfish. Anyway take a breath and .. think. Please. Gotta go. Night.

In response to: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

marchhareSenior Contributor30 Jan 2018, 4:37 am AEDT

Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

Hi Dragonfly8, welcome to the forums. i have sent you an email. you will find support here on the forums Take care

In response to: Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

MazaritaSenior Contributor30 Jan 2018, 4:40 am AEDT

Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

Hi @Dragonfly8, welcome to the forum. I too will be going back to bed very soon but wanted to leave a message for you before doing that.

So sorry you have struggled with depression to this extent. I have bipolar disorder and depression has been a major part of that for me. I understand how hard it can be.

Please keep posting on the forum and you are likely to get more responses during the daytime hours.

I wanted to also let you know that there are 24 hour crisis phone lines available through Lifeline, on 13 11 14.

Wishing you the best and hoping to hear more from you. Again, welcome. You are not alone.

In response to: Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

Dragonfly8Contributor30 Jan 2018, 5:08 am AEDT

Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

Noone else. I tried ringing lifeline but couldn't get through. I just had to let it out.

My sleep patterns are messed up at moment. Goodnight.

In response to: Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

Dragonfly8Contributor30 Jan 2018, 5:09 am AEDT

Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

@marchhare wrote:
Hi Dragonfly8, welcome to the forums. i have sent you an email. you will find support here on the forums Take care

Thank you for the info appreciate it.

In response to: Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

Dragonfly8Contributor30 Jan 2018, 5:12 am AEDT

Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

@Mazarita wrote:
Hi @Dragonfly8, welcome to the forum. I too will be going back to bed very soon but wanted to leave a message for you before doing that.
So sorry you have struggled with depression to this extent. I have bipolar disorder and depression has been a major part of that for me. I understand how hard it can be.
Please keep posting on the forum and you are likely to get more responses during the daytime hours.
I wanted to also let you know that there are 24 hour crisis phone lines available through Lifeline, on 13 11 14.
Wishing you the best and hoping to hear more from you. Again, welcome. You are not alone.

Thank you, its good to know im not alone, tried lifeline but they were busy. Will have to see what happens tomorrow.

In response to: Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

CheerBearSenior Contributor30 Jan 2018, 7:15 am AEDT

Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

Hi @Dragonfly8 and welcome to the forum

I'm sorry to hear that things are hard for you at the moment. It can be really difficult to reach out and speak about our experiences or what we're going through and I can see how it would feel like a slap in the face to have that not acknowledged by your partner. I'm also sorry to hear that you couldn't get through to lifeline last night. When I think of the headspace I have been in when I've called lifeline, I can imagine how much worse I may have felt if my call went unanswered.

You mentioned that you are pregnant. I'm not sure if that's something you feel may be contributing to the challenges you're facing at the moment, but it did for me (and alao my then-partner). I found PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia) really helpful and understanding, and it's another option for support you may want to consider trying. Their info is here

It's really great to see you here posting and trying to find support. You're definitely not alone here and I hope you find the forum helpful.

In response to: Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

Dragonfly8Contributor30 Jan 2018, 7:35 am AEDT

Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

Hi CheerBear,

Thank you so much for that link and your kind words. I think the pregnancy is definately contributing to the depression. Also the distance and weeks apart we have from each other doesn't help. I might try lifeline again today.

It feels like he doesn't care. As long as everything is good then its fine. But the moment things get a bit rough nowhere to be found.

I texted him happy birthday a few hours ago and also that we need to talk and I'm not doing too well right now. I feel a bit silly cos I have to make all the effort. I feel anxious at the same time. I just feel like I have so many emotions running through me at the same time.

Don't know what to do.

In response to: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

CheerBearSenior Contributor30 Jan 2018, 8:01 am AEDT

Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

It sounds like there are lots of things happening that may be adding to what youre going through @Dragonfly8. Being able to see what they are is a really big positive though (I think) as it means you can address them and try to work through them. I find things can feel very overwhelming sometimes when lots is happening.

Trying lifeline again sounds like a great idea. There's also Beyond Blue (I'll add a link at the bottom of this post for some info there that you may find helpful also) and SANE have a helpline from 10am - 10pm AEDT too. Do you have a GP you think you'd feel comfortable in talking about this with? An understanding GP can be so valuable, and can refer you to professional support also.

I'm really sorry to hear things with your partner are hard. I can imagine the distance would make it even more challenging when issues arise.

Here's the beyond blue link https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org.au/pregnancy-and-new-parents

Also if you put the @ symbol in front of someone's name here, they'll be notified of your reply. It can make it a little easier to see posts as the forum can get quite busy.

I'm heading out for a while now and hoping things feel a little more managable for you soon. Keep posting and chatting here if it helps. There are people here (and there tend to be more people around during the day).

Wishing you the best

In response to: Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

Holly24Senior Contributor30 Jan 2018, 10:05 am AEDT

Re: Telling a partner you have depression and not acknowleged

@Dragonfly8

Hello Dragonfly,

Lovely to meet you.

I'm new here and really appreciate the love and support which I know you too will find invaluable.

If only you were close by, I'd hug you close...

You will be in my thoughts today, and prayers.

I can't imagine how you must be feeling, especially with a precious child on the way. Please seek support, take one moment at a time, especially take very good care of yourself.

I send you much love and validation of how special you are.

Anytime you need a listening ear, I'm here to listen.

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