thank you @outlander your so so kind, im 37 now, i have been housebound since 19 so i have missed all my 20's and almost all my 30's to this illness, it has taken everything from me, i only have my beautiful partner left, im so so scared one day i will lose her if i can't overcome this illness.
no i don't know any of the people i went to school with and they have all moved on and had families, i have no connection to anyone i knew, i stopped everything when i was 19, no contacts i didn't even follow any of them through there lifes journey. everything froze in 2001 for me. im stuck in a time loop with no way out in sight.
im too scared even if i was able to find some of them, the look of horror and pity when people hear what i have been through is heart breaking, how do i explain to someone i knew 20 years ago that my life stopped the last time i saw them? they have homes, families, carreers, friends, travels. all i can say is i keep busy in my shed and have not done much else in the past 20 years. it is really really hard to come to terms with that for me, let alone people i know or have known.
i do a really good job of hiding it from my extended family, they do not know half of what is going on, and i avoid answering any questions or put on a brave face.
sorry this is a long pity ramble, i didn't expect to say so much.
thank you for thinking of me, i just hope this happens to no one else, it is truly soul destroying.
