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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Hugs @Determined , sitting with you amd happy birthday for today

@Jynx , @Snowdragon

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member welcome to the forums.

As @Shaz51 mentioned I support my wife who lives with BPD. It has been a long journey for us 😞

Tagging you here as some of this may help

It gets off track at time to initial intent but still relevant. There is also a link on page 1 that goes back further in our journey.

Happy to answer any questions you may have.

Perhaps you could start a thread of your own to be able to share your story and ask questions. More than happy to chat here though.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hello @Determined , @Former-Member , @Smc , @Faith-and-Hope , @tyme , @tired_sisyphus

Hello @Former-Member , @tyme has BPD And we are here to help you xx

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Former-Member and welcome to the forums 👋

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined I can't seem to find any content of your posts. I am desperately needing anything to give me hope, now at the 6 month mark witha pwbpd and post concussive injury as well. Have researched the s^#t out of things and struggle to find any hope but as your tag, am also determined, yet slowly breaking as she doesn't always have the same determined a d tells.me I she leave as she feels guilty but then I get scary she is pushed me not as a bpd move. My heart though says it's all the bpd. Another you can offer wouldn't be much appreciate. How do I find you historical posts on the topic ? X

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Sharni-lea

Apologies I have not replied to this sooner. I have been a bit absent.

How are things travelling for you?

There is a link on page 1 of this thread for the previous thread.

And page one of that thread

They are working when I just checked now so possibly it was a temp glitch that you could not see it?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Smc and everyone else following.

This really needs to be a new post but where to pit it 🤔 easier to just tack on here.

Trust you are all well.

It has been so long since I have been on here. Since returning to full time work capacity has been limited 😴

Things are our version of steady here.

Darling is ok but perpetually hanging on by a thread. Spent a month in hospital early last year under supervision to keep her safe. Has been ok since then despite loosing a long time GP and psyc who understood her needs well.

Constant support and encouragement required.

Father-in-law has been in a cycle of anticipating his passing and bouncing back. Currently doing ok but. (Again his version of ok).

S1 has left school and has a part time job. But requires a lot of support still with baisic daily activities. He has a purpose and is loving life though.

S2 is entering his last semester of school. Has big plans for next year that worry me (from a resilience perspective) but supporting him and will celebrate the wins and support whatever the outcome.

S3 is loving school and life.

Has an ASD diagnosis. Doing great at school but a social train wreck. But he is happy with good supports in place so again celibrate the wins and grow with him.

Me...

Chipping away... above capacity but surviving.

I am in a supportive work environment where people who matter understand family is number 1 in my life and most flexible in supporting me. For this I am most grateful. Looking forward to time off over the upcoming school break.

That is the short and sugary version of the past 12 months. Cant believe it has been that long since I was on here.

I often think of everyone here and feel bad for disappearing. Jusy a time thing with many 'balls in the air'...

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Ohh wow so great to see 👀 you @Determined

Thank you for your update

@Sharni-lea , @Faith-and-Hope , @Smc , @tyme

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Determined 👋💕

I have been barely here for a while ….. time thing and heart / head space while I take on the monumental task of reorganising my life. I still feel like I am on burnout, taking life as gently as I can and trying to maintain a forward motion against inertia, but “getting there”.

Good to have an update from you. Take care of you …..

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Awww @Determined ,

Thanks for the update. It sounds so things have been pretty busy for you.

I hope you are able to look after yourself and set some of those boundaries as a way to protect yourself. I hear it can be hard, but I'm sure you are doing your best.

Your children sound like they are really on track at the moment. I guess that's one thing less to worry about for now.

Just keep doing what you are doing. We will wait to hear from you again.

You are amazing.

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