FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Friends, families and carers

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

2306 replies

2,271 - 2,280 of 2,306

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Darling has just had her hospital stay extended by a week as a result of me calling and raising concerns. She was making threats of self harm and worse when she gets home...

She had been putting on a good show and was scheduled for discharge early next week. With the right information to lead questions it didn't take much for the nurse to get her to unravel.

Now in an isolation area on 1/2 hour checks. That is how concerned staff are 😢

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Does that mean she actually does NOT want to come home? @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

She wants to come home @tyme

But Dr is not signing off on the discharge due to risk of self harm. She is suicidal with a plan.

I made the trip to visit this ave with the risk she would refuse to see me but she was thankful that I had, so glad I made the drive. It is hard seeing my love so low and in despair. Yesterday she was in a rage when we spoke on the phone and follow up texts. Not sure what triggered that.

I'm feeling like a failure that I can not help.

That being there for her is not enough.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

I hope you can use this time to recuperate. It sounds like it will be a long road ahead.

At the same time, as part of discharge, it there a therapy plan in place to help her with the BPD?

@Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

No thearapy plan as far as I am aware @tyme Other than more regular check ins with the psyc.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Heyo @Determined... how's everything going? x

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

All quiet on the home front @Smc

Darling came home Thurday. A big improvement from the start of the week.

Very much at capacity but managing ok with the help of some prn. med.

I was nervous how it would go and wondered how wise it was leading into a long weekend (from an access to services point of view if things didn't go to plan) but so far so good.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

@Determined , here for you my friend

are you ok xx

@tyme , @Jynx , @Paperdaisy , @FloatingFeather , @Smc , @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

❤️ @Determined ….

2,271 - 2,280 of 2,306