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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

2306 replies

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

I hope your Darling gets some support soon, and you get some respite soon @Determined . It can be very challenging to take on all the load yourself.

It's good to read of the boundaries you have in place.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Bed shortage makes it hard... hope all stays safe enough in the in between time. x

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

This mornings update

No beds available for the near future.

Not sure where that leaves us 😕

This is for a private facility.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Ow...
Not completely surprised, but definitely ow. 😟
If she was willing to do a hospital stay, is she willing to talk through other possible safety and support ideas? You were saying that she doesn't like having someone "babysitting" her, but if there's not another option?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Have found another option @Smc

Much smaller country hospital.

Darling has an appointment on Monday to discuss.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

During the gaps where Darling is alone we are keeping communication open. Which seems to be working. Holding steady at the moment but it would not take much to change that 🤕

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Hospital admission for Darling at the end of this week. Preferred hospital also which is good. Have suitable support in place until then.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Good to hear @Determined.
End of the week- that means now-ish? How has it come together?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Yes in hospital now @Smc

Day 2 today and darling already looking more at ease. I am hopefully that a time out will e beneficial.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care

Admission interview confirmed that it was the right decision for darling to be in hospital.

There was an actual pre meditated attempt (by darlings admission) to not be here in a short period of being alone on the morning of admission (while still at home).

Thankfully poorly executed so no lasting physical harm but the intent is of great concern.

Among a few of concern, one comment was "my mum died and life went on, the boys will get over it"

😭

Generally a level of despair and giving up that I have not seen in a long time. Since the last time we were in crisis.

I am inequipped to deal with this at home at any level.

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