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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Outside of weather a bit of a mixed bag.

Darling is doing well. Better than she has in a long time. So happy for darling and for our family, at the same time tomorrow is the 5 year anniversary of darling going to hospital for treatment (private mental health ward) that had some damaging consequences to us as a couple that linger today. Darling doing well at the moment is a great thing and I am happy but it also highlights how not ok things have been between us for the last 5 years at least .so feeling sad at the same time.

So sappy maybe (sad-happy).

Feeling really guilty that I am sad about wah thas been. I need to focus in what is yet to come in a positive light.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

While that is going well 2 out of 3 children are not ok.

1 is displaying bpd symptoms like his mum, even she can see it, and the other does not want to be here for various reasons. Got a call from a care provider (minor confidentiality overuled by welfare and personal safety concerns). While no immediate plans, he has a plan for 'when he is ready' ☹️

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

It takes a lot of strength to say what you have today @Determined .

I acknowledge the challenges you’ve had in the past years and can only hope and pray things get better for you.

You are an amazing person standing by your dear one all these years. While many would have ‘given up’ and moved on, your true love for her has helped you hold on.

My heart goes out to you, and I thank you for standing by her.

Take care,

tyme

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

 

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hello @Determined thank you for your updates

One of your messages you have written really spoke to me as one of my customers grandson is having sign like his mum -- he can not live at his mum's anymore , and I can see why that is the case

We have had lots of rain here , even has cut us off for a while

Sending you hugs and a happy birthday wishes for tomorrow xxx

Hello @tyme , @Faith-and-Hope , @Smc

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Quick check in.

Have been a bit absent but keeping our heads above water, sort of. New job is while going well using up almost all of my resources so time goes by. Think of my forum friends often though. Holiday coming up so looking forward to a mini break. Will do a proper catch up then hopefully.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Officially on holidays.

A few yard chores to catch up on this week, hopfully a night or 2 away next week.

Last holidays were turned upside down by natural disaster events and COVID so was not really a break at all. Looking forward to some recharging this break.

I have formally finished probation in my new job now. Things are looking positive for the future work wise. Beyond end of this year is still dependent on a bean-counting oversight board (was initially a 12 month position) but management are pleased with how I have settled in so don't see it as a problem at all. Will be a role re classification at the end of year all being well so looking forward to that.

Aaaand darling and I have taken to a weekly motocyle ride and coffee dates. Has been nice.

It is nice to see darling happier and enjoying life again. Something we have not seen for a long time. I am feeling grateful and blessed for the healing that is taking place. Still a long road ahead of us but we have come so far.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Morning @Determined

How are you and your family going today ??

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Bit under the weather atm @Shaz51

Had 1 day off work sick this week, probably should have had 3 but don't have enough leave so went in anyway. Did rat tests before going to work juat to be safe so not infected.

Other than that, hanging on.

Expecting it to be stupid busy at work this coming week. And have multiple.dr appointments to.tend to with FIL and children so 🥱😳😵

Trust all is as.well as it can be for you.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Crazy here my friend @Determined

We had the flu all last week -- tested negative for covid19

No work for the week

And then lost 2 regular weekly jobs

Mum had a hip replacement surgery at 91 is recovering in hospital 60kms away

Sending you lots of hugs and sitting with you this coming week

@Jynx

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