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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Quick check in

New job is going well.

Darling, not so well without me.

Managing to hold it together but have needed to call and check in a couple of times this past week.

S3 is having some ongoing issues that saw him in hospital this time last week. Problem went away before tests could be carried out then returned after he was discharged. Waiting for a call from hospital pead to discuss what now :face_with_rolling_eyes:

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

 Here for the children tonight.

But have been here before so hanging on in the hopes that this too will pass.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

It feels as though when ever life is going well for me an my future is looking bright (if my future is looking bright then that in my mind translates to my family's future looking bright) then it gets sabotaged. Aparently I am not allowed to be happy.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I'm sorry to hear this @Determined

Hoping things are on the improve?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Anastasia

Things are back to civil for now.

Pretend nothing happened kind of a truce.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

❤️ @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hey @Determined, are you still high and dry? How's the family holding up to the wild weather?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Smc our home is high and out of trouble but we are in the middle of a disaster zone.

Have been helping friends who are in a world of trouble. It is heartbreaking seeing the devastation. More than a few tears shead in sympathy.

And that is without the attempted looting.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, looting is the classic "insult added to injury", with bells on. When our house flooded, it got to 40cms at its deepest and was out within a few hours. That did more than enough damage, and I'm guessing your community may have gotten worse than that. Will be praying for you and your friends.

Are your wife and kids coping?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Smc over 2m of water through our friends shop. Others are much worse off.

Boys are oblivious

Darling... unsure where she is at.

I think being there to support friends has shifted her focus in a good way, even before this though she has slipped into a dark space again. Recurrence of self harm in the past week or 2. I just hope the aftermath of this does not weigh too heavily on her. It has affected me in an uncomfortable way.

It will be a couple of days possibly before I can access work. Currently inaccessible. That will depend largely on rainfall in coming days. More rain predicted so 🤷‍

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