Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor22 Jan 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

2306 replies

1,931 - 1,940 of 2,306

1...193 194 195...231

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor29 Oct 2020, 4:45 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Recipient of some torrential rain @Former-Member with storms every night this week, but nothing damaging local to us thankfully.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor29 Oct 2020, 4:48 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re counsellor. Don't currently have one.

Agree totally about anything positive. Seems to trigger some sort of self destruct.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor29 Oct 2020, 6:19 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Juat realised today is the first day all week we have not had a severe weather warning.

I really should be up in the ceiling looking for leaks with all the heavy rain we have had and the trouble experienced with roof replacement. but don't have emotional capacity. One area I was concerned about seems to be OK from underside.

Had a panic.attack earlier in the week when I noticed one of the local car yards had cleared out moving everything to cover.

I really struggle with storms after being caught out in a storm that wrote our car off a couple of years ago. S2 who was with me at the time is the same.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

grayhornSenior Contributor29 Oct 2020, 7:03 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi Determined, I hope you get through the night okay. It sounds like that was a real bad storm, sorry about your car but glad you survived. The SES has a good reputation for assisting so maybe a list of local/state emergency services phone contact numbers at hand might help as a backup plan re floods/storms. Look after you too.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor09 Nov 2020, 9:25 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Spent some time at ED today with my mum.

(Went to GP feeling unwell and they called an ambulance 🤯)

Triggered some memories and emotions of sitting in the same room with darling after her last SA.

Mum doing ok but being kept in for observation and will likely have follow up specialist appointments. She is amazingly relaxed about iit all considering her Dad died suddenly at a similar age for similar condition.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

SmcSenior Contributor09 Nov 2020, 9:35 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor10 Nov 2020, 9:58 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Mum made it home late today.

No lasting negative affects expected. More tests required however to confirm.

I had ro cancel work today. Have been feeling drained after the emotions of yesterday.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember26 Dec 2020, 4:00 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

How are things going @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor26 Dec 2020, 9:10 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

All quiet here @Former-Member

I find it hard to be remotely festive but do what I can for Darling and boys.

Feel particually inadequate and alone at this time of year.

But we have much to be grateful for so feeling blessed to be so, particularly at this time of year.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Shaz51Senior Contributor26 Dec 2020, 9:11 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Ohhh hugs and sitting with you my friend @Determined

1,931 - 1,940 of 2,306

1...193 194 195...231