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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Another round of asessments for s3 today.

Will be some weeks / months before we a clearer idea about the outcomw but has been a little disheartening watching his disconnet with simple concepts.

And it will realisticaly be a process that takes years.

Need to start thinking about schools ans where we need to send him. Pead has already given a recommendation but we need to wait on outcomes to testing.

Next pead app to discuss this and test results is 2-3 months away.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Darlings anxiety is still high, almost to the point of it affecting basic day to day function and activities,

I do believe current testing and where to send s3 next year is a key element of this.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Another dose of meds missed another unravelling in progress ☹

Mt fault. I completely forgot to remind.

Had to be taken later in morning after blood tests.

Visitors waiting on arrival at home. Busy morning.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Interesting dynamic unfolding.

S2 is responding to borderline behavior with borderline behaviour.

Darling thought she could continue like nothing had happened after an outburst and it is not working out for her as it usually does.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Had a mini emergency here this morning. Darling was quite ill. Enough so to warrant an ambulance. Narrowly avoided a hoapital visit only because symptoms were improving while paramedics were on site and we were able to get a gp app this afternoon.

I am embarrassed to admit that my first thought was that it was an intentional act as inital report from FIL closely aligned with her last sa.

Turned out it was a genuine accident but highlighted how close to the surface emotions still are given the scale of my emotional response ☹

And how emotionally and physically exhausted I was after and still am.

Had a follow-up gp visit this afternoon. Things continue to improve and another app booked for tomorrow.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

Sending gentle thoughts your way Bro.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Follow up with GP today for darling

Seems most of the adverse affects have passed and no danger of any ongoing consequences.

The meaning was completely lost on darling but gp gently suggested she check in with her pdoc.

My guess is that he was not totally convinced it was an accident based on prior form. (I am confident that it was a genuine accident and no immediate concern for safety as FIL was with her at the time. She was helping him with some domestic chores).

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

How are things going @Determined ?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Determined

just wanted to let you know I resonate with the over reaction and being primed to be over sensitive to behaviours or conditions we see in our partners that seem 'suspicious' and remind us of past experiences

just wanted to say I understand and that it's good you were able to observe that dynamic in yourself

be gentle and kind to yourself - recharge and let the batteries have a bit extra as you must be exhausted from the emotional worry and vigilant response - sending you my thoughts

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member @Sophie1

Things steady here atm @Former-Member

Darling complaining she still does not feel quite right but can't say why. Well at least she is talking to me about it.

Had another round of counselling this week.

This is going well. Some good insight underway and tools to work on.

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