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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Found out this morning that something that I told some one in confidence (in the hope of some gentle encouragement outside of immediate family) was repeated to darling. Not happy. Worse than that. It was some one that I thought I could trust when things were bumpy. Back to trusting me myself and I now 😕

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Oh I'm sorry that has happened @Determined 😞 I hope the repercussions haven't been too big. In my experience & I pray this changes over time - its rare to find people who really comprehend the challenges of this shared journey. Big reason why I'm now part of this forum actually and going to regular counselling... Hang in there Determined, you're doing a truly tremendous service to your family & that shows you have a very special heart & soul.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@FindingStrength

I'm sure the person responsible did not mean any harm. Just failed to understand the extent of skewed thinking involved (despite an understanding and compassion towards MI) or the impact it may have.

Clearly not as understanding as I perceived. This is why it is eaiser to just shut up and not tell anyone anything. 😥

And why these forums are so valuable. 😊

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Checking in @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

All quiet here @Former-Member

Today is 12 month anniversary of loosing MIL 😥

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Sending gentle thoughts your way @Determined .

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thinking of you @Determined.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Lost another family member to cancer today 😥. A cousin to my Dad but they were like siblings so another link with my dad lost. His sister passed away 6 months ago (cancer). Next month it will be 15 years since we lost dad to cancer.

Also have a close friend in icu after a heart attack. Prognosis was not good but hanging in there.

Not feeling very happy at the moment 😢

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Sorry for the vent. Don't for a moment think that I am the only one having a rough time.

Just needed to 😫

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Welcome to do so @Determined. None of us want to be having our rough times alone. 😞

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