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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Not at all @Former-Member always appreciate the encouragement 😁

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Slowly slowly here at the moment.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Determined 👍

Slowly is often all we can do ...

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Having some small concerns about the development of our youngest atm. (4yo).

While not anxious being observant due to S1 and how long it took us to recognise and accept his limitations.

This is not something I can discuss with darling because... well my head hurts just thinking about the anxiety that would cause, and I do not want to unnecessary make her anxious.

There have been small things that I have noticed and wondered about including how he engages with others his age.

Well at a music based play group this week that he has been going to since 6 months old. (He sometimes engages in singing and dancing more than others) I was watching other little ones half his age engaging and following instructions while he sat in a corner licking his shoe oblivious to all that was going on around him.

Also have noticed moreso the gap in communication skills between our s3 and a little 2yo we have had contact with recently. Even S1 noticed that 🥺

A case of alert not alarmed but putting my thoughts down helps to keep the alarmed at bay. Have an app for s1 this coming week with a ndis provider so will quiz them if darling is not there.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Checking in @Determined how are you going?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Still day at a time here @Former-Member while these meds settle.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Fighting the urge to withdraw emotionally at the moment. Feeling lonely and rejection a little harder than usual to process.

Am now on a waiting list for a psychology counselling service.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

big breath and hugs @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Lovely afternoon and evening on the water but feeling flat as it ended with a BIG meltdown at the boat ramp... Nothing like getting abused and cursed in front of a large audience.

We (I) have some very clear and basic safety rules when on or near the water. Don't understand why wanting to keep everyone safe makes me the bad guy ☹

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

hello @Determined , how are you and your family today

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