Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Have been on the verge of a crisis here for most of the day. Things have sort if settled for the moment. For how long I don't know. Not helping that have a sibling visiting who has been here all day and not phased by all the carry on. The polite thing to do I thought would have been to leave rather stay and watch the melt down.

I had to gently remind darling earlier of one of our boundaries that if she drove off in the car in a rage I would be calling the police. Thankfully she believed me and stayed home. It helped that FIL calmly supported me

Sending up a few for you Bro @Determined

There has been a downward trend for a while now with out of control spending and general bad attitude towards me.

Last week she broke the side mirror of the side of her new (2nd hand) car. That thankfully I was able to fix. This morning she managed to crash into the treadmill and put a big scratch on the front guard. Well because my magic wand was not working and I could not fix it on the spot she completely unravelled. An outsider looking in would have thought I had crashed the car and damaged it.

On top of that she went to town and wasted more money on polish despite being told that would not fix it. And got the gold infused variety I think.

Had some wins today.

I got called into work this morning due to someone being sick. Problem is I had a dr app for one of the children for a referral.

Win 1, darling agreed to take the little man to the dr. Something she rarely does as it is too stressful for her. (I think the fact I had pre arranged what needed to be done helped). Then she visited me at work after with a smile.

Win 2. After work I found some scratch remover I had for key marks on the car and was able to pretty much buff out the scrape darling put on the car on the weekend. And to a level that she was satisfied with. She got her dad to come and have a look and even he was surprised how well it came out.

I am relieved that things have leveled out for the moment at least.

@wombats, this is the thread I was talking about

@Determined

Hi @wombats and welcome.

As Shaz has mentioned I support my wife who lives with BPD. We have been married 19 years and it has been a roller coaster since day one. Hopefully this thread may be useful to you, it does get off track to initial intention during times of crisis but it is all relevant. I am happy to answer any questions where I can.

I was pleased to read that you have support for yourself, something I left far too long for myself.

Boundaries is also something that has helped us a lot and something I wish I had initiated much earlier. This is something I was able to achieve with the help of a councillor, more detail back on page 1.

Thanks @Shaz51 for the tag,

@Shaz51 @Former-Member @Smc

Things continue to be retively level with darling by contrast to past weeks. This I am most thankful for. She is actually looking forward to family activities in upcoming school holidays and took s2 to another app as my work time made it a bit tight for me to pick him up in time. Something that rarely happens. We are planning a trip to the beach tomorrow. Mum and I are riding our bikes while darling follows in the car. Darling is happy with this and will be good for returning her confidence on a longer drive. Win win.

We do have some 'us' issues that need to be addressed at some point but leaving well enough alone atm.

What I am doing with uni still remains a mystery unfortunately. Got feedback on Friday that it had been further escalated in the hierarchy of the university.

Ummm all I want is yea or no answers. Seriously. I don't think my questions were that tricky and finding the situation most stressful. The stubborn part of me wants to keep going as I am not a quitter but the overwhelmed me can see that atm it is just too much and possibly not in my best interests to go on. 😬🙁😥

We have a potential water leak here at the moment.

There is a wet patch at front of house that I have just put down to rain and lack of sun to dry but out. Darling and fil however have been fretting over water leak so I quietly did some checks while they were out and discovered we are potentialy using 3x our usually daily average. 😨

Hoping I just read the meter wrong. Need to check again tomorrow as if digging required that will be more than a little trumatic. Not looking good however.

@Determined trust problem easily locatable and easily fixed,

water leaks = 😬

Can I gently encourage you Bro, getting your own health on track might make it easier for you to cope. Noticed you have mentioned that bikes (both manual and automated) are in danger of collecting cobwebs .... Now S2 has camera would you be brave enough to take him to photography club?