FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Friends, families and carers

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

2306 replies

1,141 - 1,150 of 2,306

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Quick check in. Everything is as well as it can be here. I am just busy and tired and not had the chance to check in.

I have browsed over other threads and thinking about all my friends here just finding it hard to concentrate and respond 😣😴

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Sending gentle thoughts and a little something for you @

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member

All quiet here at the moment. Darling very low at the moment. Is is part of grief or more than that? I don't know but I am concerned.

She has a pdoc tomorrow so hoping she is honest with him around how she is feeling.

We have a leak in our roof today... that is not helping things at all. I need to get up there when it is raining and try to trace it.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

On the bright side I got my bike licence on the weekend. No more L 😁

Went for a short ride this afternoon between rain showers it is great. Actually felt relaxed for a brief moment until I got home to more worries about the roof. Had someone her to check it out but was not able to find anything.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Something I came across a while ago similar to your pic above @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Not that I condone or will I be entering into any irresponsible riding practices lol

I have too many people relying on me to be taking risks. Not to mention my little bike is relatively conservative anyway. It is fun though leaning into the curves even in a responsible manner 😁

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, curves are made for motorbikes. 🙂 Ours being a flat twin, there's only so far you can lean before the heads scrape anyway. We can leave the extreme corners to the Phillip Island racers.

Thinking of you.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Had a NDIS meeting re S1 yesterday, he has been approved and we have $$$ to spend in supporting him... problem is I can't see how anything on the list is going to be of any benefit to him or us. It is all so vague it is nauseating and creating more stress for me than it is going to solve. Hoping I can have a chat to his teacher to see if she can provide any suggestions based on her interactions with him as to what may be of most benefit.

Grateful though that we have this opportunity to access additional supports for him.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, is there anything on the list that might both be beneficial (or at least neutral and pleasant) for him that could double as a respite opportunity for you, or emotional support for him? E.g. is there funding for extracurricular activites that don't require you to be in attendance? Maybe ones that go for long enough for you and your Darling to stop for a cuppa? After all, if you're in a better state of mind, you'll be of greater benefit to him.

1,141 - 1,150 of 2,306