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My anxiety is high again tonight. I can't seem to be in the moment. I have no idea how to cope when i am like this i try and put my attention elsewhere but i am back with the same thoughts again. I am so sick of smoking and so sick of feeling like it. It's making me feel worse but i can't seem to slow down no matter how hard i try to. I have been edgy all afternoon and have no idea what has triggered it
I am so stressed out. It is taking control of my life. I can't seem to focus on anything bar the stresses. I have been seeing a physcologist but it hasn't helped me. My last vist was over six weeks ago. Prior i had been seeinng physcologists but after my 8th session i was left feeling helpless because she wasn't trained in PTSD. I also had been told by another after i shared my experiences they were not trained. It has been a nightmare!!!! I agree with you about the medication i am just scared to take it and don't want to rely it on forever. I know i can only help myself but lately i feel like a lost cause and can't seem to help myself out of this hell and war in my mind. I am exhausted. I feel like half the time i don't even make sense when i explain things. The emotions are making me so overwhelmed one minute i feel anger and anxious and the next it is like a switch to the next emotion of emptiness and sadness. I feel so lost in my own head and my heart hurts like alot. I feel like i am just falling behind from everyone and the world
In response to: Re: Can't sleep
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: Can't sleep
@Former-Member, it's because your distress has reached unmanagable levels that I suggest you really need to see your GP again. I can't see how things can improve unless there is willingness to keep trying with real life supports. It's great that you have reached out here on the forum but there's probably not much that anyone can do aside from talk with you about it. I don't know of any other way out of your distress without treatment. If, for example, you were to agree to anti-depressant medication, this would give you a better platform of calmness from which to undertake psychological therapy again. Psychological therapy tends to be long term in its effects and slow to process. Whereas you seem to need fairly immediate help, which from my experience can only be found with doctors and medication.
I really am very sorry you are in such distress and hope you can find some relief somehow. Kind wishes.
In response to: Can't sleep
Unknown userMember
Re: Can't sleep
@Mazarita I came here to talk about it
In response to: Re: Can't sleep
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: Can't sleep
@Former-Member, no worries. That's what the forum is for, as well as advice from peers in relation to treatment. But I think I might bow of this discussion just now, as I don't really feel I have anything else to offer. I might instead tag @CheerBear and @Former-Member, who may be able to come in and share with you when they are available. They are in somewhat similar situations to you, as single mums with children. Wishing you the best with your mental health journey.
In response to: Re: Can't sleep
Unknown userMember
Re: Can't sleep
Hi @Former-Member - I'm sorry to hear how hard things are at the moment, it sounds like its so confusing to be kind of swapping from one feeling to another, which i can understand. I dont switch feelings so much as i just tend to feel low or numb somehow. its so hard. I wish that I could say that things will 'just get better' after all you've been through with the right supports but its such a looong process. I worked with a psychologist for 3/4 years and often felt like i was just getting from one thing to another (but there were many hard things happening over those years too which meant i was rarely able to work on anything 'long term'. she felt in the last 6 months that we were working on the hard stuff and that i was 'making progress' but i have to admit that i couldnt feel or see it and then she left quite suddenly. With trauma stuff i do get that it takes a long time to heal... a gp who i opened up to a little bit when i'd just had my first child and things were going badly with my husband etc told me that as long as the trauma's went on for was as long as it would take to heal (not entirely sure i agree with that because that would probably mean i have another 20 years of healing!). but I do think it takes a loong time to unlearn the things we learn quite quickly and incredibly deeply through traumas and maybe then to learn the 'healthier' stuff that others seem to have already without knowing it. I do think that ongoing therapy/psychology is important for us with the things weve been through, its just so frustrating that it doesnt 'just fix it', or at least not in a time frame that im happy wtih...
In response to: Can't sleep
Unknown userMember
Re: Can't sleep
@Former-Member Do you feel shaky all the time? I feel so frightened. I left the house today for 10 minutes and prior i didn't want to go outside because of how i was feeling. I am sorry. I know it will be a long process but i feel like i am trying to rush it and everytime i just get more mad at myself more than anything because it is taking me so long we only just got housed six months ago and i still feel like i am going backwards and i feel like i should have just put up with it. I also feel effected by everything within that time of events & from comments etc. I seriously hate myself so much currently
In response to: Re: Can't sleep
Unknown userMember
Re: Can't sleep
Hi @Former-Member - don't be sorry, its good that you're able to talk it all out here. I do get nervous when im outside and need to be very aware of everything. but i can also get scared at home still. no where really feels completely safe. When the kids and i first left we moved into a house with very little. was picnics on the floor and our fridge was an esky for a lil while. but we got there with a house. we moved several times in the first few years though. its only been since i got back to work that weve had a place that feels stable, but its also dependent on working which makes me sort of anxious. I also have doubts and thoughts about maybe i should have just stayed.. partly because i feel like i had more control back then ie. i knew what mood he was in and where he was and could more or less control where the kids were in relation to him etc. whereas now... i also lost the extended family of his whom i loved, and the community that we lived in because it was me moving away.. but in saying that i also know that if we hadnt left it could have gotten worse, the kids were getting older and more aware in ways that i didnt think they were. and it would have been... damaging for them to be there as well. I had so many mixed reactions from people too, i had very supportive to very derogative and hate filled. it got more complex because of other aspects of our situation and then i had a complete breakdown that fueled more. I so wish there were a tablet for different things to fix all.. first of all i want a magic tablet that erases bad memories, second i want one for sleep that doesnt have any side effects and makes sure i dont dream and third a happy pill (haha.) that gives me a positive outlook and energy to start the next day. if only.. but given we dont have those... the long way round i guess is it... but at least here we're not alone.
In response to: Can't sleep
Unknown userMember
Re: Can't sleep
Hi @Former-Member I too get anxious at home as well as in public. I feel very insecure when i am in these states. Most of the time i just want to either get quickly in the car or just come home. I don't feel safe and i don't feel comfortable. It is really hard moving around everywhere. I think that has been very traumatic for me just by doing that. I was working in the time i hadn't been housed but everything was everywhere and i didn't have anyone else to pick my little girl up. I feel that too the violence and abuse got so much worse when i fell pregnant. I just sometimes think maybe i could have done things differently but i don't honestly know now what i could have done differently. Everytime i wanted to leave him he came back I honestly wish i could forget everything
In response to: Can't sleep
Unknown userMember
Re: Can't sleep
😒😭😭 It's so unfair what we get left to live with. I'm so tired and struggling a bit tonight too about to log off and distract. I used to think that if only id been a better wife or different somehow but ... Now telling my brain to stop and try sleeping ... For a change 😞
In response to: Can't sleep
Unknown userMember
Re: Can't sleep
@Former-Member I'm sorry you are upset too. I really hope you get some sleep
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