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would like to know im not alone, im at my witts end

PerthGirl89New Contributor04 Nov 2015, 3:16 pm AEDT

would like to know im not alone, im at my witts end

How do I help someone who doesn't want help?

My mum has gone from being the most outgoing person who had alot of self pride and pride in her house to not caring how she looks, or the state of her house she wont cut her hair, hardly leaves the house.

Iv tried taking her to a doctor she appears worse i dont know what to do family is resigned to the fact this is how it is but i want my mum to get some quality of life back

4 replies

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In response to: would like to know im not alone, im at my witts end

CherryBombSenior Contributor04 Nov 2015, 7:14 pm AEDT

Re: would like to know im not alone, im at my witts end

Hi @PerthGirl89

Welcome the the Forums.

It sounds like you really care about your mum. It's only normal for us to want the best for the people whom we love.

@PerthGirl89 can I ask if your mum has diagnosis? Are there any life circumstances that may have brought this on? A GP can be a good place to start, though it can be challenging if your mum doesn't want to go. Can I ask how has your mum reacted when you have suggested this? It'd be great if you could give us a bit more background context.

Perhaps @Daughter_86 can provide some advice here. She cares for her mum, and has written about it here. Also @yinkarra is also struggling with getting her mum help, and has written about it here. I wonder if @yinkarra can share some of her experiences with you?

Hope to hear from you soon @PerthGirl89,

CherryBomb

In response to: Re: would like to know im not alone, im at my witts end

AppleblossomSenior Contributor04 Nov 2015, 9:22 pm AEDT

Re: would like to know im not alone, im at my witts end

Hi @PerthGirl89 I am glad you do care about your mum.

I am not sure how severe her situation is ..

but I have a confession to make I actually dont go to hairdressers either .. I dont know maybe it is something about growing things and then coming to terms with our own bodies outside of childbirth and parenting ( I am a mum too) and cos of things my mum has said to me ... I dont know whether she is following her own process to its natural conclusions or what needs doing ...

but Welcome to the foums

In response to: would like to know im not alone, im at my witts end

Unknown userMember04 Nov 2015, 10:36 pm AEDT

Re: would like to know im not alone, im at my witts end

Hi @PerthGirl89,

Sorry to hear about your Mum. Like @Appleblossom I also went through a period of not wanting to go to the hairdressers. It is a diffifult thing to sit in the chair seeing yourself in the mirror and trying to chat cheerfully when you just feel miserable. You might be able to find a hairdresser to come to her home if that would be easier for her.

This does not mean that your mother is necessarily ill. You might consider if something has happened recently that may have given her reason to grieve. Although menopause can be a time where some women can become depressed and if she is older then it could be part of aging.

If you have womens health centres where you are they may be able to help you work out some options.

In response to: would like to know im not alone, im at my witts end

Unknown userMember10 Nov 2015, 4:13 pm AEDT

Re: would like to know im not alone, im at my witts end

Hi @PerthGirl89

It sounds like you really care about your mum, and you're feeling quite concerned about the change you have noticed lately. It sounds like some of the family have tried to approach her about this, but have not had much success so far... One thing that you might find helpful is having a read through some of the SANE factsheets and checklists. This might give you a bit more of an idea about how to approach a conversation with your mother about what you've noticed, and how you can sensitively encourage her to get some help.

1) When Sadness Won't Go Away: Factsheet and Checklist

2) Something is Not Quite Right: Factsheet and Checklist

Please keep us updated about how things are going. Hope to hear from you again soon.

- Mosaic.

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