rough time

Some times there is nothing you can do but wait @outlander. Although we get worried about other members it is important to look after yourself first and also to understand that those members may need some time out for themselves as well - the forum can be hard to negotiate sometimes Hon - especially when we are not doing so well - that is an indivual thing to deal with and sometimes it is necessary to disengage altogether for a time for our own wellbeing. I am sure those people are missing you too but also know they are loved and cared for by you... and us

These are the times that self-care is super important @outlander and having things irl that you can do to get through it. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that our friends have a life away from the forum and we all need to find the right balance to help us through. I know it is only a small thing but me now having the pool to do both hydrotherapy and to relax in has really helped me not having @Faith-and-Hope around as much with her being at uni - change is always going to happen - I am super missing NikNik but I know she has moved on to something she wants to do and that is just as important to me as me missing her. I understand even small changes can be difficult Hon - that is why you need things that will help when those changes (or missing people feelings) come about

@Zoe7 has such a clear way of describing these things.

Feeling worried and concerned for others' welfare, can be a great sign of care and empathy, but also a sign of our own neediness. To feel better by working through and helping others. There are levels where that is still healthy but sometimes it can be a bit addictive.

My use of the forum was very heavy at the beginning, and I have eased off, but still am pretty regular.

My way through is to find a balance between on foum and off forum life.

I was concerned for some members and still do not know if they are alright.

When someone posts after a year, and the feeling of familiarity and reconnecting is refreshing,

The most impoirtant thing to do is to put the value we find into our ongoing lives.

Adopting healthful living. etc ... tho that can be very open to interpretation.

Take Care @outlander

It has been wonderful getting to know you.

Thats part of your BPD too @outlander - it affects you more than it may do for other people (I am not one of those though ) I think it is great that you have been doing those things for yourself and yes not being as stable beforehand will definitely affect you adversely. Keep doing those things for yourself - it is so important for having a balanced life Hon and being able to deal with people not being around all the time - it sucks but it is also a reality.

Completely agree with you @Zoe7 thank you for your insightful and thoughtful comments. @outlander it is so heartwarming to see such a close knit and caring community of peers on this forum and understandably you are worried about your friends and their wellbeing. But looking after yourself is priority and knowing that others all have support networks and professionals helping them in their difficult times. Waiting is hard i know, but it makes the reunion all the better 🙂

Candycane

I agree that you have a much better balance than you used to @outlander and along with that I have also seen not only your maturity develop but your empathy. It really has been wonderful to see all this in you and I am sure as your offline supports grow you will be able to tackle a lot more in the future.