rough time

It has taken me a long time to be somewhere that I feel safe - as safe as I can anyway @Former-Member - so my home means a lot to me. I certainly hope it doesn't come to that but if I am not back at work in some capacity by December then I know I will not be in a good place... but that is some time off so a lot can happen in that time. Fingers crossed it is all positive

Thanks for thinking of me @outlander

Going through some really tough times here.

Hoping you’re going ok.

💜💖💖🌸🌺

I don’t know if I can just now @outlander

I’m so exhausted from crying. 💜

I might try and come back later. Think I’ll try and relax and deep breathe for now.

Thanks @outlander

Happy to know that you can sit with me for now. 💖

My gp appointment was so hard. We covered a lot though

I have picked a new gp but im not excited to go see them. We spoke of my medicaions and shes given me a PRN medication but itll make me tired so need to be careful for driving etc, shes also increased my mood stabilisers to the highest dose to see if it helps.

We spoke about services of support and she cant help me. Shes told me to use my 4 sessions with headspace then work it out myself until next year (as in no psychological support) when I can get another mhcp. I cant access a bulk billing psychologist either apparently they arent allowed to do that. shes said its probably not best to keep changing psychologists so she said so dont go private just stick with headspace

So I really am being left on my own yet again. Even though I was honest at how ive been feeling including having SI and SH thoughts

I spoke of my chest pain, back pain and stomach issues and again was told they cant do anything else about it. Its whatever is happening in my stomach that is causing it. Im already eating basically nothing and taking reflux meds, that is all I can do. It can take months and months to heal and every time I eat or drink something that doesnt agree with me, or I have anti-infalmmatories for when my spine flares up its redoing it all in and giving the healing setbacks and apparently even when my stomach heals it still might linger for quite a while. The way she was talking it sounds like im going to be like this for a very long time.

Thanks @outlander

you’re a sweetie

just in bed now. Night night. 💜💖😴