rough time

i am seriously over all this! i feel so stuck in everything and anything i do! i friggin hate it !

@outlanderI am around hun. What is happening?

im just over everything @Former-Member so very over it all. i am so bored but i cant do anything about it. i cant think straight. i cant draw. i cant poem write. i cant do calligraphy and the more i try the worse it gets. i literally just wasted 2 pieces of paper scribbling till the page broke in half. i dont want to be calm and use my safety pplan. i am have the reckless stage coming out which means its becoming worse in the fact if i go out ill probably do something stupid but i am bored and irritated and i just feel so god damn stuck i hate it!!!!

i feel so trapped here and i cant escape myself. i cant escape my life. i cant escape anything. yet too anxious to try other things and then that just makes me feel even more pathetic than what i already am. im such a stupid human being honestly!

@outlanderyou are not stupid at all hun, you are going through some extremely hard times and are going to have lots of ups and downs, we all do.

No we cannot escape our lives, if only it was that easy, but you can choose how you are going to respond to your life. This morning seemed really good so lets just take a few deep breaths together.

It sounds to me that you are getting frustrated at yourself. Is that right?

If you are having trouble doing things you normally enjoy than that is ok. Just put them away, step back and give yourself a bit of breathing space.

I am here with you

@MDTwhat do you mean by 'what did you try doing?'......

@Former-Memberyeh i go ok for a few hrs until the boredom and reality sets back in. theres only so much tv and reading can do.

this really friggin sucks! i dont have any friends. i am going crazy. seriously i am. i can hardly stand being in my own skin.

and yes im frustrated at myself, im frustrated at everything really. i wish i could run from it all, including caring, including my mother, i want nothing more than to be away from them all right now. i dont want tomorrow to come and i dont want to run around after them all. i want a life. i want to have friends and jsut go out.