outlanderSenior Contributor
rough time
is anyone around to talk to atm
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rough time
20097 replies
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
i am struggling big time right now, im sorry 😞 i feel i cant reach out for supports both online and offline.
i have overwhelming emotions of sadness, worthlessness, despair, feeling like a total dissapointment and useless no matter what i do, and that my words are meaninless to everyone i speak to. i dont know how to fix it, or to help myself anymore. just stuck here in this slump
thank you everyone for your msgs, they really do mean alot to me, more than what words can express. 
@Former-Member@Sans911@Faith-and-Hope@Snowie@Former-Member im hoping i havent missed anyone
In response to: Re: rough time
SnowieSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlandersis you know I am with you no matter what. I can listen, give advice, sit here, whatever you need sweetie. So for now I will just sit with you because you matter so much to me
In response to: rough time
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander - thank you for checking in my angel. And don't be sorry. It's ok. You worry about us, so we worry about you. And I know you're struggling big time. I'm here to help you if you want, but I'll be here as I always am beside you if that's what you want as well. Big hugs lil Sis 💛 💜 💙
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
thank you @Sans911@Snowie i would love if you would sit with me for abit
i really dont know what to say. i cant help myself, i feel i cant help anyone else. i feel very useless being here and by me being here doesnt seem to be helping others. my posts seem to be missing something, i read what others say here and wish i had said something like that. i dont know what my posts are missing, compasison, empathy, love, care... i dont know and i worry its hindering others by me posting.
I am also finding it extremely upsetting and frustrating that I am doing the things that are suppose to be helping but I dont seem to be getting very far. I am eating healthy, limiting caffine and sugars and walking all the time at least every day. I still go to work, trying new things like the social group and trying to incorporate things like self care of things I would normally like. But I cant seem to find any enjoyment whatsoever. Even my art and music are just there, they dont give me any sense of meaning or joy. Just another thing to do and that goes for anything ive been doing. Ive been trying to take on others advice and suggestions on how to help myself as well as trying to use what I know and have learnt myself but it is getting harder and harder. I feel like I know all these things and im doing all these things and I should be happy. I should be better. So why arent I?
I feel ive dissapointed and failed everyone here, I feel I am wasting your time and energy on me. Not your words are a waste because they mean a lot to me- god I cant even get out what im trying to say. i dont want to pull you guys down with me. I worry that if I ask for help then its stopping others and others need it more than I do. my SH/SI thoughts and emotions are off the charts right now and all i can do it try to keep myself safe. All I can say is im sorry, I dont know what else to do, ive let you all down and I am so sorry and i dont know if thats enough.
the tears have started again, i need to go
In response to: Re: rough time
Unknown userMember
Re: rough time
Don't worry @outlander,the way you are feeling are my own emotions, part of my social anxiety and low self worth through traumatic experiences.Dont know any answers to overcome it.
In response to: Re: rough time
SnowieSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
my gorgeous @outlander, so much written here sis.
Firstly I don't think you are uselss at all, but just the opposite and the words you write to me always show such compassion. love, insight and maturity.
I had the same comversation with Zoe7 last night about asking for help is stopping others from getting it. I think a lot of us feel that way, that if we reach out for help it stops someone else, that others need it more, etc. I think we have all felt like that at times or even now. HUman nature I guess.
I know how much you are trying to help yourself sweetie and feel like you are getting nowhere. That must feel extremely frustrating and upsetting.
In no way have you failed me or let me down. You do the opposite. You help me by just being there, words re not always needed. One of the reasons I came back so quickly was because of the connection I have wih you sis. I will be here for you when needed sis
In response to: Re: rough time
BunniekinsSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander darling outlander gp isn't going anywhere. All you have to do is ask for help and I will be here xx
In response to: Re: rough time
Fancy_PantsSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Hi @outlander
I just wanted to add that I agree you havn't let anyone down. Please keep working on keeping yourself safe and keep writing...
In response to: rough time
Unknown userMember
Re: rough time
And you haven't let me down, @outlander, hate to think there is someone who deserves to reach their potential going through similar traumatic experiences I've gone through, that led to me giving up on myself. 🌺🌸🌻🌼
In response to: rough time
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
Oh @outlander it's ok to not be ok. I think you know we all have days/time like you're having. And there's nothing wrong about that. You don't have be present for others everyday. Some days it's just not possible. Recovery is unfortunately a long drawn out process, and sometimes we fall backwards. And that's ok too. At times like this, just take care of you the best you can. Stop expecting to be everything and do everything. There have been times nothing bought me joy, pleasure, whatever you want to call it. And those days you just accept that that's the kind of day, week it's going to be. I know it's not easy; I've often hated those days. I've gone from working almost full time to nothing. I spend many of my days doing nothing. It's really frustrating & brings my mood down. But now I've come to grudgingly accept to try to ride it out. I do as much or as little as I can. And for me that's the best I can do at that time.
I choose to be here for you, so you're not wasting my time at all. If I didn't want to talk to you or support you, I wouldn't. However I I rarely do things that I don't want to do. That benefits no one. And you aren't pulling me down at all. I feel sad for you for what you're going through, and helpless at the limitations of how I can help, but those are my emotions to own. You don't force those on me by asking for support.
And if you need support for SI/SH, then in that moment and time YOU are the most important and needy person. I'm a woman too, lil Sis, so I'm pretty good at multitasking, and I can support several people at the same time. I decide how much I can handle at any particular time, and besides, there are more than enough people in this forum to share the support around.
So you haven't let me down at all, and I won't accept your apologies, for there is absolutely NOTHING to be sorry about. NOTHING. I care about you so very, very much. Not a day goes by when I don't think about you. You've come to mean so much in my life, and I don't make friends easily. But we have do much in common despite the age differences, and I hope our connection continues for a very long time. And perhaps, one day in the future, SANE may just allow us to meet. That would be incredible. I would hug you so tight and not let go. You are my precious lil Sis and my angel 😇
I choose to be here for you, so you're not wasting my time at all. If I didn't want to talk to you or support you, I wouldn't. However I I rarely do things that I don't want to do. That benefits no one. And you aren't pulling me down at all. I feel sad for you for what you're going through, and helpless at the limitations of how I can help, but those are my emotions to own. You don't force those on me by asking for support.
And if you need support for SI/SH, then in that moment and time YOU are the most important and needy person. I'm a woman too, lil Sis, so I'm pretty good at multitasking, and I can support several people at the same time. I decide how much I can handle at any particular time, and besides, there are more than enough people in this forum to share the support around.
So you haven't let me down at all, and I won't accept your apologies, for there is absolutely NOTHING to be sorry about. NOTHING. I care about you so very, very much. Not a day goes by when I don't think about you. You've come to mean so much in my life, and I don't make friends easily. But we have do much in common despite the age differences, and I hope our connection continues for a very long time. And perhaps, one day in the future, SANE may just allow us to meet. That would be incredible. I would hug you so tight and not let go. You are my precious lil Sis and my angel 😇
