rough time

@outlander

hoping your pain has eased a bit hun

Hi @outlander

Am around if you need to chat or sit

Hearing you hun @outlander

You do take on a lot of pressure. I won't say its not needed because our brains don't work that way.

Can you just try to focus on one thing at a time (I know that is harder to do then to say)

Don't listen to others or worry about what they say. Perhaps try to focus on the process not the outcomes. Be ok with things not turning out the way we want them.

These are just some suggestions hun and I know they are hard to do. Might not even be helpful for you at this stage.

Just take some deep breaths, am here with you

and the pain ive been in and still continue to be in is driving me crazy and affecting me in many other ways besides mentally now. i dont know what else to do, i have to see the gp about it as well and i know other professionals are doing what they can but its overwehlming to live with.

im sorry i really shouldny be complaining though, others have it so much more worse then me and my bucket full of the same shit different day stuff

You are not stupid @outlander

You are trying to deal with lots of things at the same time. I know your Pop doesn't mean the things he says to you but they are still hurtful.

Perhaps telling him that he is hurting your feelings might need to be said. Even with the dementia he has no right to speak to you or treat you that way.

You are NOT complaining (yes that is capitals letters!)

Your concerns are very real and extremely valid.

We can only do our best, none of us are perfect and we shouldn't expect to be.

With your sisters, I know you feel responsible for things but you are not their mother. She needs to take that resposibilty on, you are only their big sister. Yes you do things for them and help your mother out, but that can only be extended so far.

I really wish the pain you are in I could help and erase. I know you have been fighting it for a long time, and mentally there comes a time where we can't take it any longer.

Its time for you to put you as number one hun. Can you take this afternoon and evening to do something for yourself. A bath, a movie, a tv show, anything that can give you a bit of me time.

Sorry if I sound harsh.

I dont know what to say when he says these things and even worse when its in front of people and they dont say anything.

Ive told him a few times about not saying mean things but theyve been nothing like that and have mostly been snide remarks more then anything else so i could manage it even though it was hurtful. This feels like a new ball game.

I dont know how to stop the guilt, i know im only a sister but it always feels like i should be doing more.

The first pain i think may be from the new implant, i cant say exactly what it is otherwise you would be able to understand what it is im refferring to so its really 2 things i need to speak to the gp about and possibly see the gynaecologist again. I cant lay anywhere but my back because of this sort of pain but my back hurts so i just toss and turn 😫 And the dental stuff is still there too, but the dentist thinks its something else as well causing the pain something maybe more sinister 😞 pain relief no longer workd and sometimes makes it worse if im not careful. Im almost feeling like im becoming dependent on it even though ever everything i take is well within the time frame to take it and is only the dose sometimes abit less if im running low.

I have the kids till 9pm tonight and then i have to work on some orders as well. @Snowie

Sorry just edited abit out cause im not sure i can say that here..

@outlanderI cared for my father with a terminal illness many years ago (wasn't sure if you knew that)

Towards the end he became a different person, very ill tempered and moody.

Sometimes I think they can become mean to the carers. This is still not right hun. Could you talk to his doctor about what you could say or your mum. If the hospital intervened then that might be a good thing.

I don't have any answers for you to stop the guilt concerning your sisters hun. I know you carry a lot of guilt around.

I am hoping the gp and specialists can sort out your pain soon hun, you have been battling it for so long now

Lots of love and hugs hun