rough time

i didn't like it @CheerBear it was awkward and uncomfortable and i wasn't that honest with him either. i wasn't lieing but i didn't tell everything.
he i putting me back on medications which is what i wanted to stay away from. i found it quite distressing actually and wanting nothing more then to get out of there. made it worse that i couldn't really understand due to his accent- had to keep asking what he said or double check that i heard it right. also got a sex talk- that was very awkward.

he doesn't know and i wont be telling him about the sa either.
apparently im stubborn and its funny to him (he was laughing a lot in the session) that i don't find therapy that helpful, going to dbt in a group makes me uncomfortable and that i don't want to go on medications.
basically said i either take medications or i get even more treatment resistant and itll be to late to get help and get better.
also threw a possible bipolar disorder diagnosis at me as well.

🙁 that sucks heaps @outlander. It's hard to be open sometimes. Especially hard when it's someone we don't know very well and when there's a language barrier. Were you able to explain why you didn't want meds? Super awkward with the sex talk if it was out of the blue or not what you wanted.

Frustrated for you that it wasn't as helpful as it maybe could have been outlander.

oh he was explaining a side effect of the med @CheerBear and asked if i was sexually active and i said no and said 'well you know what young people are like when it comes to that stuff, these medications may give you more urges and may affect pregnancy but just use protection and youll be right' (they are his words) super damn awkward.

i did explain why i didn't want the medications like side effects, struggling to keep up with all the medications or that i haven't found any usefull and then said the other stuff (in above post-accidently posted to you before i wrote everything)

he knows that ive tried to end it in the past and that i self harm and he also knows about the dog incident which became very triggering when he was trying to find out more information and knows about the previous diagnosis which he agrees with except he thinks maybe bipolar is in there if i become to resistant to medications or my mood swings don't get any better

sorry about the scatty posts @CheerBear

sorry @MDT missed your post. no didn't go the way had expected it to

Sounds like a lot went on and a bit of a smash @outlander 😏 Biting my tongue right now. I'm sorry you had that experience. I wish there was more sensitivity and time with these things. People can't be understood in one session I don't think. How are you feeling about it all right now?

Scatty is how I roll @outlander - no need for sorry 😉

the whole place had one of those weird vibes @CheerBear i was uncomfortable going there. it was easy enough to find and being a Saturday there was heaps of parking so no issue there either but that session was just awkward.
its left me with a weird feeling triggered sort of state all day that i cant get out of. i don't really know how to explain it. been dissociating quite abit today and getting weird feelings.

i thought youd get 'scatty' @CheerBear and you don't have to tounge bite- that's abit uncomfortable 😉