rough time

It might be a bit different for me @outlander because I was on the Carer’s forum first, and only started to venture over here when other forumites like @Appleblossom ”crossed the divide” and offered support from the LE side of what a lot of us as carers struggle with ..... that voice of experience offers us incredible insight as to what is effective caring practice or not .... basically explaining the support needs of the “cared-for” from the inside out, and helping us to understand when there are crappy behaviours involved that we should be standing our ground over, and when to back down, or how to practice listening better, because that’s the more effective support.

Ling story short/er it meant that I could seek support on that side of the forums, and give it more on this side, as I was gradually accepted as a presence here (still really humbled by that btw .... it’s a privilege, not a given).

Once I gained some courage I opened a thread or two on LE, because, as you know, situational depression and anxiety can be a big part of the caring role, along with burnout triggering MI issues amongst carers, and @Zoe7 has always been a strong support for me in all of that struggle.

It means that all of us are here in need of support, whether CG’s or not, and part of that authenticity of the CG role is being able to say that we are as vulnerable as anyone else here. Most CG’s and forum friends are only a tag away (plus time to respond if we’re irl busy ....) like you tagged @CheerBear @and me tonight.

Does that help ?

Excellent suggestion re CM support @CheerBear 👍

I think you’re doing a great job @outlander, but it’s also natural to be a bit unsure in any new role.

@outlander

You have been a great presence on the forums, especially balancing out the age range, so that it seems a legit place for more than middle aged people. I think you are instinctively suited for the CG role and typically act in a caring hospitable way way before you even got the CG tag.

You had a sense I was needy even when I did not ask, and I loved your regular little gift of flowers on my Fragile thread. I started that thread to make a space for the vulnerable side of me as I felt I had been mainly in a help giving role.

I hope you managed to get the support you needed.

It is not a simple thing to manage the role, so give yourself some slack generally, if things come up in the future. I actually chose to "retire" from being CG after a year as I felt pressured to be something that I did not believe was in my best interests, with my level of commitment to advocacy or activism in improving mental health outcomes for individuals and services. I wanted to be free to be able to challenge the status quo if needed. I wanted to be able to honour the many aspects of my experience. I used to be far too passive, not a giving cheek kind of person, so felt it important not to have toe the line at all times. Somehow I have managed to work it out with mods and CMs etc. Because I have lost so many people I do feel the need to keep things real and not just positive for positive's sake.

Hugs @outlander

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

At the time I met you I still had not been given more than a diagnosis of Major Depression and been in so many carer roles, as sibling of, child of, spouse of, mother of, friend of .... a person struggling with mental health issues .... Your ongoing presence on the forum as certainly added to our sense of positive community on the forum.

Hugs