outlanderSenior Contributor
rough time
is anyone around to talk to atm
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rough time
20097 replies
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
a big part of me is saying i cant do it anymore
In response to: Re: rough time
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
I understand that lil Sis, but I know as well that you can do it. You've been down this road many, many times. It's always been a bumpy, difficult road but you kept going didn't you? Just hold on for a bit and the worst will pass. @outlander
And I'm right here with you.
And I'm right here with you.
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
it doesnt feel like its going to pass @Sans911
everything is just building up.
everything is just building up.
In response to: Re: rough time
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
You know it will @outlander. This is what it's always like. As hard as it is, just sit with it. It will fee intense and overwhelming. It will feel like you can't go on. Your mind will tease you to end it all. Don't give in to voices in your head. Stay strong lil Sis. I'm here holding your hand. We can do this together.
The world needs you @outlander. You have important things to do yet. Despite your family's feelings about you, the rest of the world doesn't feel the same way. We want you here as your important and needed. There's a special place for you in this world. And there's a special place in my heart that you occupy. I need you to stay. Because you matter a great deal to me. More than you may realise. You have to stay to have the chance of meeting me. I'm waiting for my Lil Sis to bring me real hugs, real laughter and love.
You got this lil Sis I know you can do it.
The world needs you @outlander. You have important things to do yet. Despite your family's feelings about you, the rest of the world doesn't feel the same way. We want you here as your important and needed. There's a special place for you in this world. And there's a special place in my heart that you occupy. I need you to stay. Because you matter a great deal to me. More than you may realise. You have to stay to have the chance of meeting me. I'm waiting for my Lil Sis to bring me real hugs, real laughter and love.
You got this lil Sis I know you can do it.
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
your making me teary, at least these ones are good ones. i think ive cried a river over the past 3 days. theres so much going on in my head that i dont even know where to start with it.
my heart and chest is all hurting so heavy. and i dont know how to make that stop either. it makes it so hard to even breathe. Nothing im doing offline is helping and i dont know what else to do. im worried my heart and head are going to start agreeing with each other. @Sans911
my heart and chest is all hurting so heavy. and i dont know how to make that stop either. it makes it so hard to even breathe. Nothing im doing offline is helping and i dont know what else to do. im worried my heart and head are going to start agreeing with each other. @Sans911
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
and what you said if you switch it, it is what i feel about you too sis. i will try my best to sit through this. thank you for beng here with me
In response to: Re: rough time
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
Your heart should be telling you deep down you're a good, worthwhile person. You head is probably opposite. So listen to your heart, listen to me, because between us, we know the truth. You'd had it so tough lil Sis, you've been through so much at a young age. It won't always be like this. I'm sure it won't. @outlander
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
I have saved that post you wrote too. I really hope it wont be like this sis. @Sans911
Can i talk to you about something/s? but only if your ok.
Can i talk to you about something/s? but only if your ok.
In response to: Re: rough time
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
Sure lil Sis @outlander
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
sorry it took so long, i had to ring the chemist back for a script issue. i hope its ok if i break it down, it seems its the only way i can manage it atm. @Sans911
-How do try to be ok in amongst all of this? how do just sit with all the uncomfortable stuff? im trying really hard to just listen to you and your who i want to listen to but my mind is going off and telling me not to listen to you and that i shouldnt be here anymore, that i dont deserve the good life and i would make things better for everyone if i wasnt here.
-I found out that people have gone behind my back and im loosing clients and not others have a bad opinion of me with the horses now. the one thing that i still had ok faith in my capabilities and now thats gone too.
-One of my dreams are sitting right in front of me in the hands of the person who took it away in the first place. its like this taunting game that i cant help but have hopes for but i know that its probably unlikely.
-on monday ive got my surgical team consult to go over everything that needs to be discussed and im shite scared. i know the surgury will go ahead and its better than consant infection and pain but its not stopping that fear from creeping in.
- My emotions are really all over the place. the tears seem to be flooding everywhere even over the small things. it doesnt matter how small everything just seems to be right over the top in my mind and i just cant fight it, i can feel it all sinking lower and lower inside. Everything feels really really messy inside and just so awful.
- It doesnt seem to matter what i do it jsut doesnt seem good enough. i keep making people angry at me and i dont even know why, it just seems to be my presence. i tried to organise some home care so that i know pop will be ok throughout that week and i tried to talk to him but it just ended up in an argument. it doesnt sit well with me not having those supports in place and i cant rely on family. its been proven over and over again and honestly it doesnt bother me having a stranger come in and help. it really sounds horrible but at least they cant hold it against me either.
- the psych sessions- im questioning them. i feel like imwasting their time becasue most of the time i dont even know what to say to them or feel i cant say. she wants to work on trauma and thinks itll help me move forward but even that last session was really hard and triggerring and fought back tears. i cant walk trough a shopping centre like that.
- my studies- i still havent done that assignment. i cant get it out i still jumble everything up. i dont know why its so hard. im worried im going to fail it and then itll be another thing ive failed at. A part of me is asking those questions of why am i even bothering to do it and those sorts of questions but im trying not to listen to that and keep on the better side of things as i know there are my reasons for studying too even with all those self doubts
