rough time

Hi @outlander

Life is one day after another most of the time - and then we have moments that stand out sharply - my mother used to drive us to the beach a lot and it was a drive through Melbourne's CBD and those memories are sharp

But pretty much it was justs going to school and then work and I took on other things - the year plus I spent in the army reserve is full of sharp memories - as is going out with the man I married - when my kids were young it was endless cooking - which I actually loved - and now I spend a lot of time studying what is interesting

I travel but I don't go out much - it takes ages for me to warm up most days - my back has been stroppy lately due to unstable barometric pressure but I do enjoy most days even if I get stuck at home - and I guess it comes back to being able to choose what I do most of the time - no one is pushing me around - no one is bossing me about - it's all relative I think - this morning I had a look at my German vocabulary - I could speak it well a long time ago -

Anyway teeth - people of Anglo-Celtic background often have large teeth in a jaw not big enough - I have a huge range of interests - and my family is tpretty solid Anglo-Celtic with big teeth and jaws without enough space and hence crooked teeth are a major issue - I understand -

The thought of having 6 teeth out at once has to be scary - it's okay to be scared - it's horrible to be scared - it must feel really bad - like "this can't be really happening" - but it is -

Are you having a GA for that - my daughter and grand-daughter did and my brother and I had ether when we had our teeth out - at least you are not aware of the main event

When are you having this wonderful moment in your life that will be sharp in your memories? I am being a little satirical here - having been through dental surgery a few times. Are you staying in hospital for the day? or are they doing this at the dentist?

Will your mum take care of you afterwards - I know she has come through for you at times - not as often as you would like - I hope she does this time

About other young people finding you boring - I guess their minds would be somewhere else at that age but you are building your own life with emotional discomfort and this is harder work and hopefully a better outcome in the long run. Emotionally you are miles ahead

My grand-daughter is a little older than you - and she has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - she moved out from her parents a couple of years ago and has successfully lived alone for nearly 2 years and she is recovering from an operation atm but intends to move to Queensland for her health.

It seems young people who have to battle to "survive" rather than just live do better imo - I was very ill when I was 21/22 - it gave me a different outlook on life and "survival" - I think back and those sharper moments in my memories taught me to be more understanding of the other person

And we can help other people sure - but we can't help who they are - we can only accept them

The toughest classroom of life is living at survival level - I have thought a lot about this since I joined this forum - and it was a chance moment - I got the right person at Life Line

Dec

@Owlunar
yes you are right, there are some good memories that stick around thankfully even though it can be hard to draw those out when times are tough or seem hopeless.

there is endless amounts of information out there, many interesting topics. I had been taught to speak abit of german and french during my school yrs and i learnt abit of spanish as a hobby. i havent done that for a while now though.

have you considered doing some gentle stretches morning and night to help relief your back abit. Heat packs or those heat patches can sometimes help too.


i dont have all of the details as yet, i find out more on the 10th dec so another week and abit for the full details. I do know that ill be under GA, ill be in a hospital and itll be day surgury as far as im aware. they said itll be done either late Jan or early Feb but a dates yet to be confirmed.

Becasue the hospital is 2 and abit hrs away i will most likely travel myself in the morning as ill need to be there early, but try to treat the family to an overnight stay close by. Its pretty much in a city centre so its extremely busy. which isnt something im looking forward to with a chipmunk face. i think im beyond scared more like terrifed @Owlunar

Mum will be at work, but im hoping she will take the day off the day of and after so ive got someone who knows abit about what to do. my pop can be pretty hopeless and these things. Im actually searching for an RN to come in each day or every second day for the week so ive got that piece of mind and also getting a home care worker in to help with the house and to be abit of a companion for pop for a little while.


Yes, there are lots of young people who are living their lives differently to me, well no one lives the same, but theres alot ive missed out on too like travel, a 'normal' job i guess, going to the clubs etc. so compared to those things it is boring, my life is pretty much work, work, work, work and has been that way for as long as i can remember now.
its both good and bad, bad for the reasons of being unable to relate but i also think despite the traumas etc it has helped to shape me into someone completely different from family. more understanding and emapthetic (though sometimes it works against me and gives me overwhelming anxiety) im what they call the 'black sheep' usually im made very well known of that 😕

im glad you found us here and also lifeline, i think if i hadnt of found here when i did, i probably wouldnt be here now. @CheerBear@Zoe7@Faith-and-Hope@Mazarita as well as a few others who have left now really really helped me to not go ahead with that plan when i first joined. ive been extremely lucky and grateful to have been able to form the connections and wonderful friends/family that i have here who have also helped me more than what words can express such as yourself and @Sans911@Snowie and a few others. I will be forever grateful to have found here and if i can help even one person to have a better life than that is fantastic.

Beyond scared into pure terror @outlander - totally understand that one - I have had a lot of teeth break off at the gum line - series of misadventures really - I had a really bad-bite and the added pressure of root fillings started a string of broken teeth and I was scared shitless everytime I had to have the root out - I am a freak-artist - telling terrible jokes while I am crying and generally useless and cannot help myself at all

So as terrible as you might/will/can feel - I will totally hold your hand - I will do my best to keep in touch but tag me anyway - I will do my best to give cyber-hugs and sit there and do whatever I can and tell terrible jokes - I know - I really do

Gentle stretches and heat backs for back problems - yes - I do these - it is something I have to live with - I blame the sporting excesses of my youth - you most likely identify with this - having had riding injuries - I have not been thrown off a horse even though I did ride when I was young - I can safely say that now because I am never getting on a horse again - or a bicycle - in my mind I am still the Little Old Lady from Pasadena who rode a motor-bike like a lunatic - I am not doing that - I am passed it

I would like to get my flying licence - I probably won't - but but I enjoy the thought

Your life has been pretty much work work work work work work work and guess what - me to - though I had the choices about what work I did. I didn't have the chance to travel until recently and I have been seeing Australia city by city for 3 years now - 5 cities altogher and a trip to a beach resort - the chance came late but I am grabbing it

It's strange that your family sees you as the Black Sheep when you are so necessary to the smooth running of so many lives - your mother, her boyfriend, your sisters, your grandfather and before that your nan - that's 6 people - I really don't understand the way your family thinks when you are giving up your life for their well being and getting little out of it - except maybe your Pop - who is aging - and he is about my age but then - everyone's life is different and when it comes to family-black-sheep my brother has that title in my family and although he seemed to attract trouble in ways you don't - he invited trouble and he has paid for it.

You are completely different from your family - yes - and as uncomfortable as that is - you are better than them -

I'm glad your mother will be around for a day or so after you get your impacted teeth out - it's rough that they turf you out of hospital in a few hours - they can hardly wait to get rid of patients now days - even in the private system - I only got a night as an in-patient when I had my knee operation last year because I am getting on in years and live alone -

I'll be there for you when that time comes

Dec

Hi lil Sis @outlander

I've got about an hour and a bit before I leave for my dbt course. I hope your out of that icky weather that's coming through.

I've also got my pdoc today, and another mh training course this evening.

Thanks for your understanding @Owlunar Im not a fan of dentists, hospital or this city centre so my anxiety rises all the time about it. I have met some of the team that will be treating though and they are quite lovely which abit more reassuring. One tooth extraction sounds bad enough let alone 6.

Thanks for being here with me. Terrible jokes and cyber hugs never go astray.

Yes, I can relate to your back troubles and aches and pains, ive had quite a few horse falls often falling in awkward positions. The latest fall though was the last one I plan to have, I barely ride either anymore. Maybe theyll think of some other things that are helpful besides stretches, heat and medications.

A flying license sounds like an odd request but perhaps aviation is something you could study out of interest. Id love to o to brisbane, perth, melbourne and canberra. Ive been to brisbane and canberra but not since I was a heack of a lot youngersso its been a long while and I honestly done remember much of it.

Yes the black sheep indeed, cant do much about it. Too awkward to interact with them anyway. To be honest half of them ive never gotten along with anyway. Its not a whole lot of loss to me really.

Its abit strange the way im feeling atm, I actually dont want my mothers help for this. I would rather pay for services, and I know thats awful but me and mum dont get on all that well now so its hard to even be honest with her anymore so if she was to ask how I was I couldnt be honest anyway unless it was very urgent. I dont know, strange and awful I know.

I've had a reasonable day today. I had a fair bit on, but it wasn't stressful.

Saw my pdoc, no changes there. We talked about my recent trip and how I got along with my family. She's referring me to a wellness program at the hospital to help with my motivation and exercise.

I saw my mh nurse briefly afterwards. He goes on five weeks leave soon- not looking forward to that at all even though he has a replacement.

Evening @Owlunar

@Snowie

Super missing you my sister ❤️

@CheerBear

@Shaz51

@Teej

@Zoe7

@Faith-and-Hope

When do you take off on your trip?