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Mother issues

Mother issues

Just had an argument with my mother. Spent the day cleaning and said to her that I was going up to my room to study. She told me to forget study cause these were sacred days and we might have visitors and we should do something. Like what? Clean the house. She doesn't want me to study that's all. She has fought me tooth and nail all the way from day one. She just wants me to stare at the wall and be as miserable as she is. I'm done. I give up. After 30 years of taking care of everyone why can't she be happy for me finding something I like. I don't know what I will do...give up the course. Just too distressed to think straight right now. 😭

23 replies

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In response to: Mother issues

Re: Mother issues

Hi @Lemonjuice

It can seem as if we were born into the wrong life at times - but thinking back to all those people putting their boats into the water and having a good time living their lives - mmmm - yeah - seems like that but someone there might have see you and thought "Oh - I wish I could be that person and just sit or stand just watching life and not have to hurry hurry hurry"

You don't know - we can only know our own lives and yes - it can be a bitter pill at timess

I am up to the third anniversary of my mother's death in a few days and as normal as I know this is I feel mixed up about her at times. She did drive me away all the time and at the time I didn't know why and as a mature adult I took myself away from my family and went on living my life - and learned a lot

But what else can we do? Do you have to live with your mother? Luckily I did not have to live with mine - sometimes people are literally stuck with an elderly relative and this can be a hardship - I have read other people's stories here and it can be a tough place to be.

I am glad you have spoken out on this - it can be a very lonely world - and we can wish our lives to be different but alas - this life we have is the only one we have and it is up to us to make it work

But I am so glad you are studying - imo education enables us - it has enabled me -

All the best Lemonjuice

Dec

In response to: Mother issues

Re: Mother issues

@Owlunar Thanks. Parent-child relationships can be difficult and complex...not to mention painful. I'm wishing you strength as you go through another anniversary of your mother's passing. I guess all we can do is learn from their mistakes and not repeat them with our kids.

In response to: Re: Mother issues

Re: Mother issues

Hi again @Lemonjuice

Yes - we all learn lessons - good and bad - from our parents - for me luckily - I learned more from my father

But my mother - yes - I did learn something valuable from her - I learned what not to be - I have already lived a long life and among the best things we can know is what not to be

Thanks for your kind thoughts about my up-coming anniversary - for some reason it's harder to have my mother's anniversary - I was on good terms with Dad and his anniversary is much easier

But whatever happens - the years do pass and I am glad now I made the hard choices I did earlier in my life - pleasing other people most likely would not have been profitable for me - pleasing myself as worked well - which doesn't mean I ignored other people -

Dec

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