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Something’s not right

THE dark side

THE dark side

No one ever gets why I do what I do
I just wish that someone can see all my pain
That one person I wished to see it never did
And now I’m left here alone and confused

That one person who I trusted so much left
Now I can’t tell what’s wrong from right
She meant the world to me
She left so suddenly
It was so stupid
I’m left here to cry myself to sleep

Everyone tells me not to cry but they never know why I do
They wonder what’s behind my walls
What am I hiding from them?
I’m hiding everything from everyone

That is left unexplained
They always ask me why I’m so distant
I never tell them why
I’m afraid of the things that I have to hide
My problems are like an untouched checklist
Never to be solved
Never to be completed
It just sits there making me feel horrible

There so lucky
They don’t know my dark side
The side that they don’t see in me
The one person that will never show
They will never know

I was always left to fight my battles alone
I constantly struggle through everything
I thought I was going to get some soldiers along the way but no
No one to pick me up when I fall down
No one to really understand,
Who I truly am
Everyone has their own dark side
But what am I?

1075 replies

341 - 350 of 1,075

In response to: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

Me too @Bubbles3 ..... looks like it’s a self-care day for both of us, huh ?

I have taken my D3 to a dr’s appointment, and now I am going home to rest.

In response to: Re: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

i wish i could do that @Faith-and-Hope
iv got the whole house to clean. plus dealing with all the animals.cleaning up kitten litter tray, feeding the birds, (why did i get so many) oh that right, im f*cked in the head. anyway. i have to do it all before hubby comes home or he will crack the shits then it would world war 1000 in this house
it does my fken head in

In response to: Re: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

hi @Determined

how are you going

In response to: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

Try to pace yourself with it @Bubbles3 .... maybe set yourself up on your bed (Bwd Island) or a lounge chair (Chair Island) and plan raids on the housework from there .....

That’s what I do on low-energy days where I need to self-care.

Roads might include -

Putting on a wash load
Hanging a wash load
Bringing in a wash load
Folding a wash load
Putting a folded wash load away
Making a coffee
Making a sandwich
Vacuuming one room
Vacuuming another room
Using the wash basket to pick up everything cluttering a room
Sorting the stuff on the wash basket
Cleaning a bathroom bench
Cleaning a kitchen bench

If you can give yourself rest intervals of 20 - 30 mins in between raids, you get both abrest day and a work day happening.

In response to: Re: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

gizmo is sitting on my laptop and im trying to read your post, (just a little bit funny) @Faith-and-Hope.
yeah im just writing down a list now of what i have to do. i have already put a load of washing on. thats a start i suppose

In response to: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

It is @Bubbles3 .....

Tick them off as you go, and see how many ticks you can achieve without compromising your rest times ...,,

Use the timer on your phone / iPad / stovetop to make sure you get your 20 - 30 mins rest in between a raid ..... maybe alternate .... 20 mins one time, 30 mins the next.

In response to: Re: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

well @Faith-and-Hope

i have always paid my mum $20 to clean my bathroom as i cant do it coz of the fumes from the bleach. but i like the smell of bleach that why i get somebody else to do it. if i do it , it gets into my lungs and then i cant breath.

so mum is finally coming over to see me, yayyyyy she hasnt done that in months.

and she going to clean my bathroom and clean the kids rooms up and change there bedding for me.

at least im getting some help. but i cant tell hubby that im paying her coz he will be p*ss off with me.

In response to: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

Good for you @Bubbles3 ..... delegating is your prerogative especially with the severe physical health issues you are battling ......

I hope you don’t feel guilty about it at all, and although your mum is not there for you in so many ways, I am sure glad to hear she is there for you in this special way today ...... ❣️

In response to: Re: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

@Faith-and-Hope well the bath room is nice and clean. i cant go in there for a few hours coz the fumes hit me straight away and i cant breath straight away. i love it when my house is clean (UNTIL THE KIDS GET HOME) 😞

we had a nice talk to. then she read some of my court case stuff and nearly started on me. but i just shut my mouth and didnt say a word.

the kids bedrooms are getting cleaned up now. hope the keep it clean

In response to: Re: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

Woo-hoo @Bubbles3 ..... that sounds great.

I’m gonna make a suggestion to you .... take it or leave it ......

I suggest that you talk to the kids about their rooms when they get home, as sweetly as you can, if they think you don’t believe in them it will get their back up and instead of wanting to please you, they will go out of their way to annoy you instead.

Here’s the suggestion. Close their bedroom doors. Tell them you have a surprise for them, Ask them to sit in the lounge, and one by one, starting with the youngest, take them to show them their rooms .... just by themself with you .... asking the others to wait quietly. Get them to cover their eyes before you walk into their room, and then make a big deal about how clean it is, how nice it looks ..... it even smells clean (spray some deodorant or room freshener in there ahead of time).

Ask them how long they think they can keep it looking and feeling so nice (the feeling part is really important ... so their feelings are involved) and write it down and pin it to the fridge or somewhere.

What that is doing is causing them to set a personal goal of seeing how long they can maintain their room.

At the end of the week, if they have kept their rooms tidy(ish), buy a carton of their favourite ice cream and some sprinkles or Flake bar or something .... maybe chopped up Turkish Delight or Mars Bar and celebrate their achievement.

Don’t tell them ahead of time that you’re going to spoil them, so they don’t know a reward is coming. You want them to have the goal for the sake of it, not for a reward. The reward becomes your thank you to them, and they are more likely to keep trying to keep it together for you. At the end of the next week, shout them to something else special .... like a trip to the beach, or pool, or movies .... or take away dinner .... or family games night .... or something.

341 - 350 of 1,075