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Something’s not right

THE dark side

THE dark side

No one ever gets why I do what I do
I just wish that someone can see all my pain
That one person I wished to see it never did
And now I’m left here alone and confused

That one person who I trusted so much left
Now I can’t tell what’s wrong from right
She meant the world to me
She left so suddenly
It was so stupid
I’m left here to cry myself to sleep

Everyone tells me not to cry but they never know why I do
They wonder what’s behind my walls
What am I hiding from them?
I’m hiding everything from everyone

That is left unexplained
They always ask me why I’m so distant
I never tell them why
I’m afraid of the things that I have to hide
My problems are like an untouched checklist
Never to be solved
Never to be completed
It just sits there making me feel horrible

There so lucky
They don’t know my dark side
The side that they don’t see in me
The one person that will never show
They will never know

I was always left to fight my battles alone
I constantly struggle through everything
I thought I was going to get some soldiers along the way but no
No one to pick me up when I fall down
No one to really understand,
Who I truly am
Everyone has their own dark side
But what am I?

1075 replies

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In response to: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

sitting with you @Bubbles3

In response to: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

Sorry @TAB @Faith-and-Hope @outlander . I feel asleep. Just got them now. My day was veryg draining yesterday @Faith-and-Hope. My whole week has been draining . How was yours

In response to: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

Yesterday was draining for me too @Bubbles3. Today i have taken off out of the house on my own to try to do some artwork. We’ll see. It might rain yet .....

In response to: Re: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

thats ok @Bubbles3 hope todays a better day for you

that sounds great @Faith-and-Hope i hope your able to do some artworks

In response to: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

Thanks @outlander

Hope you have a good day to and you to @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

Hello again @Bubbles3 seems I keep missing you. Wish you were feeling better than you are.

Sorry things are not going so well for you. If you're resonding to my posts and I'm not getting back to you, it's because I'm not getting the tags, sorry.

Here's a magic wand for you.

In response to: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

Thanks @Former-Member

It means alot. Thankyou

In response to: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

Well ill just talk to myself coz im such a loner







Iv had a busy full on day.

My advocate came first thing

Then i went and seen my doctor

Then i seen my psychologist

Then i came home

Then the kids came home from school

I havent had them all week. They have been at my sister in laws house. But this afternoon iv had them and iv missed so so much. Really have.

I feel really drained though. But out of the 2 weeks that hubby has been gone i have finally done some dished. Cooked dinner for the kids.. made there lunches. Helped them clean up there rooms. Cleaned out the vacuum cleaner. Iv done so much. Well to me that alot. Considering iv done fk all for 2 weeks feeling depressed and my deep black hole.

Im still feeling really depressed.

But i didnt have SI today. Thats a first out of the 2 weeks. And i havent wanted to SH today either. So thats a good thing.



My mum ask to have the kids over the weekend.. i said no.

We are really not getting along right now. She does FIFO and the week that she is home she never visits me .....only my sister who live 45 minute drive from here.



Iv asked her to come around so i can show her something and she said that i go to her.

Iv asked her if she would come to a psychologists appointment with me next time she is home and she said no.



So i can see i have lost another person in my life . Its so sad for me right now knowing that she doesnt care about me. All because of my mental illness.



Tomorrow i go and see a psychiatrist for the first time in a year. Im really nervous about it. Just another thing to stress about i suppose. I dont have a good record with mental health place that im going to. So not looking forward to it. .



Next thursday..... i go to court......



I have just decided that im just going to plead guilty to my 2 charges and get it over and done with. I just cant do it anymore. I wanted to plead not guilty but my lawyer said that it would go on till the end of the year. And ii dont want that to happen. I want the cops to give me my phone back. And they do that until everything has been dealt with. So i just pleading guilty to something that i havent done wrong. Just because its affecting my MH. I just cant keep on doing it. So thats next Thursday. Apparently all m y charges will be read out unfront of everyone which is really going to embarrasse me so much. I will probably be crying in front of everyone.

I wont be on here anymore. But thankyou to everyone who has helped me in the past.



Hi

@outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Determined @Sans911 and everyone else. Hope you all had a good day.

In response to: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

That is alot to take in @Bubbles3 what a busy day youve had but it sounds really productive too with all the appts and the house chores too.
Sorry to hear about court. I dont have much experience in that so now sure what to say in that aspect

Really good to hear your sh and si have eased. Thats great i hope that continues on for as long as possible. Give you a much beeded break from thoae thoughts

Good luck with the pdoc tomorrow too. Hope they can help and support you more too

In response to: Re: THE dark side

Re: THE dark side

Why are you going @Bubbles3

Hi @outlander. I dont think i have met you before. Iv just been looking through thE. Forums for the last few months havent said much. I like this thread though. Some of the poems that @Bubbles3 say rings so true for me
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