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Just reaching out

Daughter_86Casual Contributor29 Oct 2015, 8:20 pm AEDT

Just reaching out

Hi . My name is Stephanie and this is my first time doing anything like this.

To sum it up my mum has been dealing with mental illness for the last 28 years. I live in Adelaide and my mum lives in Melbourne and has been in and out of hospitals nearly my entire life. I think myself and my family have realised she is never going to get "better" or as I used to put it healed but I do know that she is existing and doing the best she possible can. I could go on for the next few hours about my
Mum how beautiful women who had absolute everything, husband, money, friends - the life and then when she just had 2 kids her life was destroyed. After my dad left her in 2003 then everything went downhill.

Mum has
Lived with me, she has been in private rentals, wards in most hospitals and mental health units and now she is in state trustee home which I can honestly say is destroying her.

All I want is for my mum to feel safe and really need to look at possible other accommodation that is affordable and for somewhere she can feel safe, Now although she may be paranoid all she needs to feel is safe and private .

Hoping someone can help a desperate daughter trying to help my mum in what seems like a continuous downward spiral

Mum was diagnosed with bipolar and Schizophrenia....

Sent from my iPhone

14 replies

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In response to: Just reaching out

PeppiPattySenior Contributor18 Nov 2015, 7:26 pm AEDT

Re: Just reaching out

Dear @Daughter_86I like very much what advice that you have been given esp. that @Former-Member writes about taking care of yourself.

And then @Appleblossom talks about creative things.

I also live in public housing and it can be very awful.

Just a tic, I need to re read some messages written to you and Ille get back to you

In response to: Re: Just reaching out

PeppiPattySenior Contributor18 Nov 2015, 7:46 pm AEDT

Re: Just reaching out

Hello again @Daughter_86

Ive got a few things to advise; probably more airy than others......

These are just my opinions, they might not suit everyone. My ideas are from being a fulltime carer for my husband who is diagnosed and...its been a journey... all good.

I am a very proud consumer meaning I was brave to access mental health agencies in the past.

It's just great your way of thinking but there is a lot of support that you can 90% trust and the message that @MIFANTCARER

writes is really good;

Partners in recovery for your area they often have great programs that can help with both you and your Mum are going through. Also see what mental illness and carers agencies are in your area they can be great support and may have some useful ideas.

Also, what @AlienBP2 I personally think is so useful. I've been helping a group of people write letters about Public housing.... and the replies that they are getting; NOT from Department of Housing but from MP of our Area, .......

there is going to be change for them.

About living in Public Housing,;

I reflect being a past wealthy lady, owned two home in the past........

Sane Forums helped me confront all of that past pain of losing homes;

It's like 'some people,' who live next to you......think they can so whatever they want to do. It's like they are not grateful for what they have.

EVery time I visit my neighbour, I have to listen to her tell me who is getting their pension when, she saw me going to the shops earlier, did I get her some cigarettes so I pass her $5 but it's not enough and she gets grouchy...... and I dont even smoke!

But housing is wonderful. I am so grateful.

I got Silver Chain in to get support to write letters, spend time with me and give me some 'normalacy.'

Congradulations again for being a good daughter, I heope that you can access some good agencies....

Hope that helps, Anne

In response to: Just reaching out

Daughter_86Casual Contributor19 Nov 2015, 8:37 pm AEDT

Re: Just reaching out

Thank you so for your reply. I havnt been on here for a few weeks as mum has been back in hospital but I am currently writing a few letters and sending them out to whoever will listen. It's amazing to hear back from so many people with really great advice, so thanks again .

In response to: Just reaching out

daughter2Casual Contributor07 Feb 2019, 11:42 am AEDT

Re: Just reaching out

Hi Stephanie,

Your situation is very similar to mine, and different of course, but so familiar. My Mum is schizophrenic and is currently in the mental health unit again. We are about to go to VCAT as the hospital have made an application for her to not return to her own apartment. She was recently in hospital for a couple of months as she was in a deteriorated state, sleeping a lot, no motivation to wash, cook, clean etc. She is very isolated and doesn't accept any services other than the nurse who comes to give her her injection (she is on a court order otherwise she would refuse it). My younger brother was doing all of her grocery shopping (on top of being a new Dad and working). She now claims he is not who he is and says he is an imposter. She was told last time she was in hospital that if she ended up back in there she would not return home and would have to go into supported care. Accommodation is a tricky area for people with mental illness and a constant concern. Mum living in her own place has been fraught with difficulties, she sleeps a lot due to the anti-psychotic medication, often won't answer the door has no motivation and no hobbies or interests either so although she has a stable, affordable place it's still an issue. She's lonely and she isn't able to look after herself and won't accept help with personal care. I'm 2 hours away from my Mum and I feel guilty if I don't go every weekend. I don't know if my reply helps you much but wanted to let you know there are other people out there going through what you are. Look at the services and talk to the hospital. If she's in Melbourne then look at what is available here for her:

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/ServicesAndSupport/housing-and-accommodation-support-for-people-with-a-mental-illness

Talk to the hospital staff and tell them your concerns, the nurses have listened to me and made progress notes for the doctors, they may be able to put you in touch with people or escalate her case for accommodation support.

I wish you and your Mum all the best,

Melissa

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