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Just reaching out

Daughter_86Casual Contributor29 Oct 2015, 8:20 pm AEDT

Just reaching out

Hi . My name is Stephanie and this is my first time doing anything like this.

To sum it up my mum has been dealing with mental illness for the last 28 years. I live in Adelaide and my mum lives in Melbourne and has been in and out of hospitals nearly my entire life. I think myself and my family have realised she is never going to get "better" or as I used to put it healed but I do know that she is existing and doing the best she possible can. I could go on for the next few hours about my
Mum how beautiful women who had absolute everything, husband, money, friends - the life and then when she just had 2 kids her life was destroyed. After my dad left her in 2003 then everything went downhill.

Mum has
Lived with me, she has been in private rentals, wards in most hospitals and mental health units and now she is in state trustee home which I can honestly say is destroying her.

All I want is for my mum to feel safe and really need to look at possible other accommodation that is affordable and for somewhere she can feel safe, Now although she may be paranoid all she needs to feel is safe and private .

Hoping someone can help a desperate daughter trying to help my mum in what seems like a continuous downward spiral

Mum was diagnosed with bipolar and Schizophrenia....

Sent from my iPhone

14 replies

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In response to: Just reaching out

DurangoSenior Contributor30 Oct 2015, 8:40 am AEDT

Re: Just reaching out

Hi Stephanie,

Welcome and thank you for your post. I am one of the moderators here on the forums. I am sure that you will find the forum has some great stories of others who are doing their best to support a family member with a mental illness. It is really important that you take good care of your self and get the support that you need. I encourage you to have a look around the forum and connect with others.

Take care,

Durango.

In response to: Just reaching out

MIFANTCARERSenior Contributor30 Oct 2015, 1:23 pm AEDT

Re: Just reaching out

I understand the feeling of just wanting the person you love and care for to feel well and safe again. It can be a cycle of hospitals and homelessness that seems never ending. Then the Dr and services invollved can be over whelming. Google Partners in recovery for your area they often have great programs that can help with both you and your Mum are going through. Also see what mental illness and carers agencies are in your area they can be great support and may have some useful ideas. It is difficult but this is a great place to come and chat and share. Stay strong and Take care.

In response to: Re: Just reaching out

AppleblossomSenior Contributor30 Oct 2015, 3:22 pm AEDT

Re: Just reaching out

Hi @Daughter_86

Sorry to hear about your mother's circumstances but glad to hear that you care about her enough not to just accept the staus quo.

Is there a level of self-contained independence in your mum's living arrangements? If she is in a small unit can she function reasonably with just a few community support? Does she have any interests that she can develop to get her into a creative community?

In response to: Just reaching out

AlienBP2Senior Contributor31 Oct 2015, 12:44 pm AEDT

Re: Just reaching out

What is " tragic for your mum...is tragic for you also...."
I'm wondering if your local MP may be able to help you..,.or the MP in your mothers electorate .,.. Mental health is getting much more attention now and the government as a consequence is spending greater amounts in this area.
If you can't get satisfaction / advise from people try elsewhere... Think there may be a Minister for mental health now. Certainly there are community support groups.
Try to get this sorted out to your satisfaction do you can move on with your " own life"...
You deserve it! Allan

In response to: Just reaching out

Daughter_86Casual Contributor01 Nov 2015, 8:33 am AEDT

Re: Just reaching out

Thanks for your reply. It means a lot. Yeah she can function in a small unit - I just think that where she is staying is not a healthy place for her and if I had a bit more money I would try and get her something better but the biggest problem with mum is that she doesn't have any interests or hobbies and she needs to. She also misses people to talk to and doesn't have any friends. It's been hard as she has had some great care workers and case managers over the years but I just wish she could be involved in something - instead of just smoking and going for walks and drinking coffee by herself. She is just all by herself and I try to see her as often as I can but just really not sure what I can do to help her.

There has been so much awareness recently about mental health and my mum needs some support.

In response to: Just reaching out

Daughter_86Casual Contributor01 Nov 2015, 8:35 am AEDT

Re: Just reaching out

Thanks Allen. I will do.

In response to: Just reaching out

AlienBP2Senior Contributor01 Nov 2015, 7:14 pm AEDT

Re: Just reaching out

My mum is similar... She has no interests at all ...she's just interested in sleep food cares only for family and the dog...
She gets enjoyment from ABC TV and radio...done music... I take her for drives when I take the dog for walk ...park the car where there's a good view and she listens to the radio...while the dog and Zi look for " waskerly wabbits...;-))
In contrast I have many interests and a few good friends

In response to: Re: Just reaching out

AppleblossomSenior Contributor01 Nov 2015, 11:06 pm AEDT

Re: Just reaching out

I guess interests and hobbies cant be forced. Sometimes its just starting some volunteer work in a local area that is practical to get to and resonates with some of the person's values that can help

... sometimes it is more the community centre type approach ... it can be tricky when person is vulnerable cos there seem to be a few loose canons out in the community ... some people are gung ho and others delicate ...

Its great you both care about your mums.

In response to: Just reaching out

AlienBP2Senior Contributor02 Nov 2015, 5:39 am AEDT

Re: Just reaching out

I just joined a Ukelalee group ...28 members a few play banjos to....what a hoot!

In response to: Re: Just reaching out

Unknown userMember02 Nov 2015, 5:28 pm AEDT

Re: Just reaching out

Hello @AlienBP2

Love the idea of the "waskerley wabbits". Dogs can be great fun but I know my partners the same will walk with the dogs with his headphones on not engaging at all.

Hello @Daughter_86

I agree that it is good that you are concerned for your mother however if she is living so far away there is not much you can do on a day to day basis. There is a group called GROW which runs peer support groups on the 12 step type of program. This might be helpful for your mother.

cheers,

carer101.

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